With Summerslam just a couple days away, it’s not hard to notice that there are so few matches announced. One of those guys who has nothing going on is the Miz and that brings up an interesting pattern. See, the Miz has never wrestled a single Summerslam in his entire WWE career. Check it out.

2011: Rey’s injured, so the possibility of Rey vs. Miz is down the tubes. Will most definitely appear on the show in some way, but having a match is up in the air.
2010: Was going to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase, but decided not to as he would be joining Team WWE in the main event. Was going to wrestle in the main event, but Cena had him replaced with Daniel Bryan.
2009: Got fired and banned from Summerslam (Summerfest?!) by one of the guest Raw General Managers.
2008: Even if he and Morrison were still tag champs, it wouldn’t matter. The only tag match on the show was a mixed tag.
2007: Is too busy feuding with Balls Mahoney to be of any importance to the big picture.

The dude just can’t catch a break. I’m pretty sure that the Hurricane never got a Summerslam match either, which is kind of weird. See, the big DVD box set of the first 20 Summerslams are split into four packages and each package has this awesome collage of stuff from those five years. Stuff like posters, Dibiase angrily pointing, Cena punching Jericho, Diesel and Michaels posing, etc. One of them features, rather prominently, a picture of a guy in a Hurricane mask in the corner. I don’t remember seeing such a thing and I can’t remember the Hurricane doing anything of note, let alone appearing, yet there it is.

13) SUMMERSLAM 2000

Date: August 27, 2000
Era: Attitude Era
Location: Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena in Raleigh, North Carolina
Known as: That one with the Angle/Triple H/Stephanie love triangle.

Kurt Angle has been setting the WWF on fire with an almost completely undefeated streak. Sure, he got choked out by Tazz, but he considers that illegal. Sure, he lost the Intercontinental and European Championships, but those were from Triple Threat matches and he wasn’t pinned either time. Also during this time, he has Stephanie McMahon-Helsmley helping him out. Triple H doesn’t like this at all, but they form a truce. In the final show before the PPV, where they’re set to compete in a Triple Threat for the title, Steph is hurt and Angle brings her backstage before kissing her. What’s going to happen now?!

Oh, did I mention that the Rock is there too? No? I mean, he’s the champion and everything. Sounds sort of important. It isn’t? Oh well.

The Atmosphere

We have an intro starring Freddie Blassie watching the Triple H/Angle segments in the style of a Fellini film. In other words, it’s completely bizarre and nonsensical while completely ignoring that THE ROCK IS THE CHAMPION AND HE IS IN THIS MATCH! The problem is, the show spends way too much time emphasizing the love triangle. Do we really need to see Stephanie talking to the makeup lady about how much of a hunk Angle is?

Elsewhere, we have Eddie Guerrero and Chyna telling each other that they don’t mind who wins their title match, as long as it’s one of them. Meanwhile, Val Venis has problems with his partner, Trish Stratus. The APA hang out at WWF New York for the sake of giving them something to do. Really, the best part of the backstage stuff is Shane McMahon’s interviews. Every time he’s about to cut a promo, he would see Steve Blackman entering the room like the Terminator and Shane would run for the hills.

The Matches

Off to a great start with the Right to Censor (Steven Richards, Bull Buchanon and the Goodfather) vs. Too Cool (Rikishi, Scotty 2 Hotty and Grand Master Sexay). Richards starts up one of his angry promos, only to be interrupted by the face team’s theme. Rikishi has a bevy of the Goodfather’s former hoes, including Victoria early in her WWF career. The RTC rush in after them and everything clears until it’s Scotty vs. Bull. Scotty is able to outsmart him, hits a top-rope crossbody, double-teams him with Grant Master and after Bull tags out, they toss Goodfather out of the ring. Goodfather assaults his former hoes, which is kind of harsh. Richards takes over and puts Grand Master in peril until he gets Richards with a superplex and tags in Rikishi. The big man clears the ring and Richards tries to run, only for Victoria to throw him back in. Rikishi ends up throwing all the RTC members into the corner, then throws his partners at them to the point that Goodfather and Bull fall out of the ring and Richards falls into sitting position. Bull stops Rikishi from doing the Stink Face, Scotty gives him a bulldog and starts stepping for the Worm. Before he gets far, he’s Stevenkicked by Richards and gets pinned. Quick, but fun.

Road Dogg vs. X-Pac is a face vs. face match based on the two DX members left having a friendly rivalry. X-Pac is getting a lot of hate from the crowd, as usual for this era in his career. He starts out by overwhelming Road Dogg with mat work until Road Dogg gets his own licks in. X-Pac’s Bronco Buster is evaded, but he gets Road Dogg in a sleeper. Road Dogg escapes and immediately eats a roundhouse kick. On the second try, X-Pac gets the Bronco Buster, but Road Dogg gets up, hits his punch combo, does his dancing knee drop and goes for the pin. X-Pac kicks out. Since Road Dogg only knows three moves, he goes for the third with the Pumphandle Slam. First time he tries it, it’s reversed into an X-Factor attempt that ends with Road Dogg throwing X-Pac down to the mat. Another Pumphandle attempt leads to X-Pac kicking Road Dogg in the crotch and landing the X-Factor. He gets the pin and afterwards calls for a truce. Road Dogg kicks him and finally gets the Pumphandle Slam. Very average, but then again, I just can’t stand Road Dogg matches.

Intercontinental Champion Val Venis and his partner Trish Stratus defend the title against Eddie Guerrero and Chyna. Whoever gets the pinfall becomes champ. The men start it up and they go the sensible way by having Val perform better than Eddie. After all, if pre-push Trish is in there, they might as well amp up Val so he evens up the odds. Chyna comes in for some double-teams, but again, Val ends up on top. While the ref yells at Eddie, Chyna lands a low blow on Val, but a powerbomb is reversed into a backdrop. They each tag and Eddie proceeds to scare away Trish. Val gets back in there and goes back to beating down on Eddie, hitting his trademark Blue Thunderbomb and eventually the two run into each other and conk heads. Trish is tagged in, weakly puts some offense into trying to beat Eddie, he tags and Chyna proceeds to annihilate Trish. Chyna’s about to do her cartwheel elbow smash thingy, but Val grabs her leg. The ring fills up, Val throws out Eddie and he and Trish get ready for a double clothesline. Eddie grabs Val and drags him out of the ring, leaving Trish to clothesline Chyna all alone. Chyna no-sells it, does a press slam and pins Trish. While she stands tall as the new Intercontinental champ, she looks silly as her underwear has been sticking out the entire match. Anyway, one of her best matches in her entire career.

Jerry “The King” Lawler faces Tazz in a grudge match based on Tazz bullying Jim Ross over his remarks over what a jerk Tazz is. This angle may have killed whatever heat Tazz had left after the coming of Benoit and the Radicalz a week or so later did, but it’s definitely a great match. Having shattered glass on Jim Ross sometime earlier, Tazz walks out with sunglasses and a stick, pretending to be blind. He taunts Ross until Lawler punches him. Lawler takes it to Tazz, hits a second-rope punch and misses a repeated attempt. Tazz kicks the crap out of Lawler until taking a second to yell at Ross. Lawler gets some shots in, Tazz begs off and then headbutts him in the crotch. Tazz goes to the top and tries for a flipping senton, only to miss. Lawler hits the piledriver and Tazz stands back up, no-selling it completely. Lawler gets tossed in the ref and Tazz takes a break to antagonize Ross more. He puts Lawler in the Tazzmission and gets in Ross’ face until a fed-up Ross smashes a jar of candy over Tazz’s head. Lawler is able to pin Tazz and afterwards, the defeated Tazz is crying to the ref that there’s glass in his eye. Having endured the entire Lawler vs. Cole feud, this is like an infinitely better version of it.

Next is one of my favorite matches of the night, Shane McMahon defending the Hardcore Championship against “the Lethal Weapon” Steve Blackman. This is my favorite kind of match where one guy with a lot of heat wants to get his real-life friend over and bends over backwards in hopes to make it happen. The opening is incredibly entertaining. Blackman tosses Shane his kendo stick as an equalizer and the frightened Shane throws it right back. Blackman proceeds to beat Shane within an inch of his life, smashing him with a garbage can, pumpkicking him over the guardrail, beating him with the garbage lid and so on. He places the garbage can over Shane’s head and beats on it with his escrima sticks. Then he kicks the can helmet, removes it and wraps a strap around Shane’s neck. He even strangles him with it while putting him in a Half Crab. To make it a little less one-sided, Test and Albert run in and take Blackman down. Albert hits the Baldo Bomb, they place a garbage can in the corner, throw Blackman into it and then Test hits a top-rope elbow with a lid placed over Blackman. Then they hold him up as Shane punches his enemy.

They drag Blackman up the ramp and Test drops an amp onto him. Luckily, Blackman rolls away at the last instant. Albert accidentally hits Test with a kendo stick, Blackman steals it and goes to town on both of them, taking the tag team out of the match. Shane climbs up a nearby metal structure to escape, Blackman climbs up after him and as the two appear to be about 40 feet up, Blackman beats him with the kendo stick until Shane drops onto a crash pad. Blackman turns around and hits an elbow off the metal structure and proceeds to win the hardcore title back.

Also fantastic is Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho in Best Two out of Three Falls, but that goes without saying. It starts out fierce with the two rolling around and punching each other to the point that they and the ref all roll out of the ring. Jericho rushes Benoit, gets picked up and is knocked into the post. Benoit puts him in an STF, which turns into the Crippler Crossface, but Jericho reverses that into what looks like the Wall of Jericho at first, but then he Slingshots Benoit into the corner and hits a German Suplex. It goes back and forth until a Lionsault lands on Benoit’s knees. After the counter, Benoit puts Jericho in the Crippler Crossface and makes him tap. Benoit is up with one fall.

Immediately after, he puts the Crossface back on and Jericho grabs the rope. He puts Jericho in the Tree of Woe, leaves the ring and pulls Jericho’s head back. Jericho tries to fight back with only one arm and receives a series of German Suplexes. He fights his way out of the last one, rolls Benoit up and transitions it into the Walls of Jericho. Benoit taps, evening the score. Jericho chops at Benoit and nails him by performing a reverse elbow off the top rope. They counter each other’s powerbombs and keep up their crisp chemistry where it seems like either one can win. Jericho hits a spinning heel kick, but Benoit puts his foot on the rope. Jericho Spears Benoit, gets rolled up and Benoit grabs the rope for cheap leverage to get the final fall.

Edge and Christian defend the WWF Tag Team Championship against the Hardy Boyz (Matt and Jeff Hardy) and the Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley) in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match. Man, do I really need to explain why this match is amazing? There’s so much awesome crap in there. Edge doing a Russian leg sweep to D-Von and Jeff off the ladders. A Bubba Bomb on Christian off the ladders. Edge uses the ladders as a seesaw and nails Matt with it. Jeff ducks a Conchairto, but unfortunately for him, Bubba lays waste to everyone with a ladder. The Dudleys do the “WASSAP!” headbutt to Edge off a ladder, then decide to start setting up tables. They Dudley Death Drop Christian through one table, then set up four tables into two stacks on the outside. More ladder and chair ridiculousness happens and Bubba finds himself climbing up the ladder. Although he slightly ruins the spot by looking at his point of landing in order to plan his positioning, he gets pushed over and into the two stacks of tables. Edge and Christian climb up the ladder together. Lita shows up and shoves the ladder over, causing them to get crotched on the top rope. Matt climbs up next and D-Von shoves him through another table on the outside. As Lita checks up on him, Edge Spears her. Jeff and D-Von duel on the ladder until it falls from under them. D-Von hits the mat while Jeff hangs onto the belts. Edge and Christian hit Jeff and knock him off with another ladder, set it up, climb it and get their belts back.

In probably one of the most embarrassing matches in wrestling history, the Kat takes on Terri in a Thong Stink Face Match. The point of the match is that whoever can rub their bare ass in the other’s face first wins. Saturn is in Terri’s corner and tries to cover her up, but that sort of defeats the purpose of the match. Kat goes for the finish early, only for Saturn to drag Terri out. Al Snow, who is in Kat’s corner, clotheslines Saturn and tosses Terri back in. The go through some truly terrible brawling, Kat spanks her and gives her a Bronco Buster. Another Stink Face is prevented by Saturn and this time Terri capitalizes with a bulldog. Kat bodyslams Terri so many times you’d think it was an Ezekiel Jackson match and misses a butt splash. Terri sets her up in the corner for a Stink Face, but Kat places her foot on Terri’s ass and shoves her right into the ref’s crotch. Snow tosses her Head, she hits Terri with it, gives her the Stink Face and the match ends as Saturn loudly proclaims, “Al Snow, that’s a bunch of bullshit!” It goes even raunchier as Snow has Kat on his shoulders, then twists her around so her crotch is in his face. Classy stuff.

Undertaker takes on Kane in what’s a pretty short match. When Kane’s doing his entrance, Undertaker leaves the ring and goes right for him on the ramp with the two punching the hell out of each other. He tries to rip Kane’s mask off and is fought off. Kane grabs a chair and is stopped with a punch flurry to the gut. Undertaker uses the chair on Kane, rips at his mask some more and some of it falls off. Kane slams Undertaker’s head into the steps repeatedly, then throws the steps at Undertaker, only to miss. Undertaker tries the same and has better luck with the aim. He signals for the mask, but Kane low-blows him. Kane pummels him a lot and gets taken down with a surprise Spear. Undertaker tears more of the mask, gets choked and fights it off with a nutshot. Undertaker presses the offense, tears the mask off and Kane walks away as the Undertaker’s music plays. I don’t know if the match ever officially started, but either way, there’s no official winner. It’s fun, though nothing special. If anything, the director should be commended for not giving us a clear shot at Kane’s face.

The main event is Rock defending the WWF Championship against Kurt Angle and Triple H in a Triple Threat Match. Oh? What’s that? Rock’s in this match? I had no idea. Especially since the opening minutes are just Triple H fighting Angle when Rock hasn’t even made his entrance yet. They fight on the outside, Triple H sets him up on the table and it accidentally gives out before he can Pedigree him. Angle is completely out of it and they have to figure things out as they go. He’s wheeled off and Rock finally arrives to brawl around with Triple H. Triple H overpowers him and continues to attack the hurt Angle, but Rock takes advantage of the Angle diversion and takes control. They continue the brawl outside of the ring while Stephanie appears to check on Angle. The crowd regards this with a chant of “SLUT!” Stephanie grabs the belt and accidentally hits Triple H with it. Triple H kicks out, Rock goes after Stephanie and Triple H low-blows him. It goes back and forth, Triple H pulls out his sledgehammer and Rock runs right into it.

Triple H works on Rock’s midsection for a long, long, long time. Triple H uncharacteristically climbs to the top and receives a superplex from the Rock. Backstage, Stephanie talks to Angle and convinces him to help Triple H. He says he’ll do it for her and runs out. He does indeed help by grabbing Rock’s leg and allowing Triple H to hit the Pedigree. Then Angle pulls him out of the ring and throws him into the steps. Angle covers the Rock, he kicks out and Rock begins to fight back. Triple H gets on the apron, Angle is whipped into him and Rock gives him a Rock Bottom. Triple H pulls Rock out of the ring to prevent the pin. Angle steals the sledgehammer and in all the confusion, Triple H accidentally strikes Stephanie. Angle hits him with the hammer, Rock breaks the pin, throws Angle out, goes for the People’s Elbow on Triple H and pins him. Afterwards, Angle carries Stephanie away.

Great show for the most part, but the main event doesn’t do it for me. At least it’s nice that Angle’s ability to work through injury would lead to him getting his first title reign.

12) SUMMERSLAM 1992

Date: August 29, 1992 (aired on August 31)
Era: New Generation
Location: Wembley Stadium in London, England
Known as: The one with an Intercontinental Championship match as the main event

Over a year before, the Ultimate Warrior had sent Randy Savage out of the WWF after one tense feud. Savage remained in the spotlight while Warrior left the company for a while. At Wrestlemania 8, a face Savage won the title against Ric Flair while the Warrior made his big return. It isn’t long before the champ has to defend against the man who ended his career for several months. Meanwhile, Mr. Perfect claims that one of the two competitors paid him to help them out. But who could it be? Elsewhere on the card, Bret Hart is to defend the Intercontinental title against the British Bulldog, but Bret’s opponent is married to Bret’s sister. Can the Hart family hold together?

The Atmosphere

Our intro has a bunch of British fans waiting to get into the arena while saying who they think will win the matches, as well as who is going to turn heel between Savage and Warrior. To hype up the Warrior/Savage match, they show some footage of their feud, including a brawl during a tag match that goes on for far too long. Lord Alfred Hayes tries to interview both members of the title match, but each of them refuse to even acknowledge him. As for Flair, he pulls off a cool promo where he merely smirks and laughs to himself when prompted for an answer on which side Mr. Perfect is on. The post-match interview is also pretty great, just because it’s about Flair happily screaming like a madman.

Elsewhere on the promo front, the Nasty Boys laugh at the Michaels/Martel match and get a little mad at Jimmy Hart for not getting them a title shot, to which he nervously promises to get them one in the future. The Bushwackers have a pretty pointless couple minutes where they discuss hanging out with the queen. Virgil prepares for his match against Nailz by proclaiming himself “2 Legit 2 Quit” including the awful MC Hammer hand signals. But we also have some good drama going into the main event. Bulldog tells Bret that when the bell rings, he no longer knows him, which outright offends Bret. Prior to the match, Diana Hart-Smith is interviewed and acts nervous about what’s about to happen.

Also, there’s a special appearance by Roddy Piper, who plays bagpipes along with a group of other pipe players. The dude’s good!

The Matches

Our opener is Money Inc. (“The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase and Irwin R. Schyster) vs. the Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal) and… *sigh* unfortunately this is during the time when LOD’s manager Paul Ellering has a ventriloquist dummy named Rocko. It’s so humiliating. Dibiase chops at Hawk to no effect. Dibiase high-tails it and gets thrown back in by Animal. Then Hawk clotheslines him out of the ring and Animal throws him in once again. Animal has the same luck against IRS, but when Hawk’s tagged in, IRS locks a sleeper hold onto him out of nowhere. Hawk breaks out, tries for a top-rope clothesline and misses. He ends up on the outside, where Dibiase bodyslams him. It goes on for a while with Animal either unable to tag in or tagging in and the ref not seeing it, so he’d yell in his face about it. IRS and Hawk clothesline each other and Hawk’s finally able to crawl towards the hot tag. Animal kicks the general amount of ass that Animal kicks, sends IRS out of there with an Atomic Drop and picks up Dibiase for the Doomsday Device. IRS dropkicks Animal, preventing the move, but then eats a flying clothesline from Hawk. Dibiase is shoved into IRS, Animal powerslams him and gets the pin. Not a bad way to start the show.

Next is a very unfortunate match of Virgil vs. Nailz. You know, a year earlier, Virgil was winning the biggest match of his career and now he’s fodder. Nailz strangles Virgil in the corner and Virgil fights back. He starts jabbing him, but can’t knock Nailz down. Then Nailz goes back to the strangling, throws him around a little, then goes back to the strangling. It’s really all he knows. Virgil punches him some more, Nailz no-sells and he puts Virgil in a stranglehold pretending it’s a chinlock. Virgil passes out and loses, allowing Nailz to beat and strangle him with a nightstick. Glad they wasted PPV time on that.

Really fun match next with “The Model” Rick Martel vs. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels. In what appears to be the first heel vs. heel match on a WWF PPV, the two are feuding over the love of Sensational Sherri and also because Michaels cost Martel the Intercontinental Championship one time. Sherri has made the two agree not to punch each other in the face, adding to the ridiculous fun that is this match. Also contributing to the fun is the commentary by Vince McMahon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. Like when we see Martel standing in the ring, he’s dressed up like a tennis player with his kneepads acting as socks. Wimbleton was recent, so he’s playing on that. Heenan jokes, “Eat your heart out, Andre Agassi!” leading to some discussion between he and Vince until Martel looks smirks at the camera and repeats the exact same line. Both commentators are confused and wonder if Martel somehow heard him.

It continues when Sherri comes out, wearing a white outfit with her ass on full display and heart-shaped holes in the stockings. Heenan calls it the strangest case of moths he’s ever seen and even as the straight man, Vince has to say in a shrugging, comedic tone, “Sherri appears to be missing part of her outfit. …That’s too bad!” As for the match, Martel almost plays the face role to the point that I wonder why they don’t just turn him anyway. Lord knows he doesn’t do anything else of note for the rest of his WWF career despite being such a mid-card staple. Still, heel vs. heel matches are fun for when they start openly cheating in equal measure. The two keep grabbing the other by the hair and would be prepared to punch, only to stop themselves as to Sherri’s demands. Martel eventually gets Michaels out of the ring and starts to seduce Sherri before returning to the fight. Michaels and Martel keep rolling each other up while grabbing at the tights, causing their ass cracks to show again and again. Heenan remarks, “I’ve never seen so many smiles in all my life!”

The two begin to slap each other back and forth. Sherri faints and falls off the ring apron. Michaels checks up on her until Martel shoves him off and starts giving her chest pumps. They begin to brawl as Sherri opens an eye to show that she’s faking. It’s a double count-out and they continue to brawl until Michaels gets the upper hand, picks Sherri up and carries her over his shoulder. Her ass is up in the air, leading to this exchange.

Vince: In the States, there’s a TV show called Twin Peaks, but this—
Heenan: CHEEKS?!
Vince: –No, Peaks. But this is bordering on the absurd.

Martel and Michaels keep attacking each other, which is funny for how “unconscious” Sherri would go flying after each impact. Eventually, Michaels carries Sherri away until Martel comes out, throws a bucket of water at them and gets chased away. Sherri remains, alone and crying in anger.

The Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) defend the WWF Tag Team Championship against the Beverly Brothers (Beau and Blake Beverly), which is a plus because it means the Beverly Brothers’ manager the Genius gets to recite a poem at the start. The Beverlys go right at the champs and it blows up in their faces, ending with the two giants crushing them from either side. Blake goes for a bodyslam on Typhoon and simply falls back into a pinning combination. Due to Beau grabbing Typhoon’s leg and breaking his concentration, Typhoon lets go of Blake and Earthquake accidentally crushes his partner with an Avalanche. Typhoon gets worked over with the Beverlys making sure to keep him off his feet. Lots of strangling behind the ref’s back and lots of keeping him in their corner. Beau tries a crossbody, which is caught, but then Black dropkicks him into a pin. When Typhoon gets a piece of offense in and moves for the tag, Beau distracts Earthquake and the ref as Blake hits Typhoon with the Genius’ metal scroll. Earthquake gets in there and breaks the pin with an elbow drop. Typhoon makes the tag, Earthquake takes apart the Beverly Brothers, throws out Blake, Typhoon whips Earthquake into Beau, Earthquake knocks Blake off the apron and finishes Beau with the Earthquake Splash. The two retain and then throw the Genius out of the ring for good measure. Another enjoyable tag match.

It’s time for another squash as Crush faces Repo Man. How messed up is this? Two years earlier, they were tag champs as Demolition and now they aren’t considered close to evenly matched. Crush no-sells Repo’s initial offense and press slams him. Crush lays into him until Repo gives him a thumb to the eye. Still, Repo’s advantage doesn’t last and Crush punishes him some more. Crush misses a knee drop off the top and Repo climbs up the ropes. He’s caught into a powerslam, Crush gives him the Cranium Crunch and Repo submits. At least this is more watchable than the Nailz atrocity.

We get our first main event with “Macho Man” Randy Savage defending the WWF Championship against the Ultimate Warrior. As it begins, Savage offers his hand, they shake and then they start shoving each other. Savage gets the first set of offense in, tries for a pin and gets thrown off. He goes for a top-rope axe-handle and receives a punch to the gut. Lots of awesome, high-energy offense from each side here. According to Warrior in an interview, the two of them drank a couple gallons of coffee before this and it shows. It goes back and forth and never seems to get boring. Savage hits a top-rope axe-handle, it staggers him, he does a second and finally he goes down. He tries a top-rope crossbody, gets caught and gets put in a backbreaker. Warrior puts him in a bearhug and flails him around and by this point the crowd is almost 100% on Warrior’s side. When Savage gives a surprise neckbreaker, he receives a lot of boos. He tries a vertical suplex, but his back hurts too much and Warrior compounds it by pounding hard on the injury. A Warrior clothesline misses and he goes out of the ring. Savage axe-handles him again, then throws him into the post.

About this time, Flair and Perfect appear. Warrior gets back into the game, goes for his splash and lands on Savage’s knees instead. They clothesline each other and Savage gets up first. Perfect trips him, leading the commentators to speculate that Warrior and Flair are in it together. Warrior accidentally whips Savage into the ref, hits a top-rope axe-handle (boy, that move gets a lot of mileage in this match) and there’s nobody to make the count. When a ref does finally make the count, Savage kicks out in time. Savage knocks Warrior into the ref and hits a piledriver, but again, there’s nobody to make the count. Perfect helps up Warrior, only then Flair puts on some brass knuckles and punches the challenger. Savage does the elbow off the top, grabs the tights and the dazed ref slowly counts. Warrior kicks out. Warrior makes his comeback, hitting clotheslines, a shoulder tackle and his press slam. Perfect tries to trip him, fails and the ref yells at him. As this goes on, Flair sneaks in and hits Warrior with a chair. Savage goes to the top, has second thoughts and then jumps at Flair instead. Flair meets him with a chair to the knee. Savage gets counted out, giving Warrior the title-less win, and Flair continues by putting Savage in the Figure Four. Warrior steals a chair and chases the heels away. He helps Savage up and they stagger to the back side-by-side.

I know everyone has a boner for Bret vs. Bulldog, but this may be the match of the night to me. Savage tends to bring out the best in Warrior. Interestingly enough, the rumors say that Vince wanted Warrior to turn heel here, but he refused. Then he had to rewrite the match so that Flair was only in it for himself. The day after the show aired, Flair would beat Savage at a house show due to Savage’s injured knee and that would lead to Bret becoming champ. Considering Warrior is on the way out anyway, maybe it all turned out for the better.

“The Ugandan Giant” Kamala takes on the Undertaker in one really short bathroom break of a match. Undertaker gets the cool entrance, standing on the back of a hearse. Kamala walks right into a series of throat thrusts, misses an Avalanche attempt, gets more throat thrusts and then endures Old School (is there a term for this move when it’s done in the early 90’s? It feels weird calling it that). As Undertaker prepares for another use of Old School, Harvey Whippleman shakes the rope. Kamala knocks him out of the ring, Undertaker lands on his feet and strangles Kamala’s managers. Kamala saves them, sends Undertaker into the steps and then back into the ring. Undertaker surprises him with a chokeslam and then a jumping clothesline. As he picks Kamala up, Kim Chee hits Undertaker with his helmet and gets Kamala disqualified. Kim Chee gets tossed, Kamala puts Undertaker down, hits a running splash, a splash off the second rope AND a splash off the top rope. Paul Bearer slaps the mat, Undertaker sits up and Kamala runs.

Now, by that point, the rivalry should be over and done with. Yet it would continue on to Survivor Series. Go figure. Their Survivor Series match, I actually kind of liked. This one, not so much.

Luckily, we have our main event of Bret “The Hitman” Hart defending the Intercontinental Championship against “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith to send us home happy. Weird how this show has two face vs. face matches and one heel vs. heel in a time when both are incredibly rare. Boxer Lennox Lewis is there to lead Bulldog to the ring with the English flag. As with the Warrior/Savage match, we have both guys shoving each other around. The idea here is Bret’s wrestling superiority vs. Bulldog’s strength superiority. Lot of the beginning is Bret countering Bulldog’s power moves with roll-ups and takedowns. Bulldog starts to pull out some wrestling moves to offset this and the crowd seems shockingly split. Then again, when Bret starts to work him over, the crowd gets pretty pissy, so I spoke too soon. Bulldog keeps trying to get his momentum back, but each time it’s reversed and he’s put back down. Annoyingly, one of the fans has one of those stupid vuvuzela things.

Bret maneuvers Bulldog out of the ring, then slams him into the post. Back in, he slowly hits all his trademarks before repeatedly applying the sleeper. Bulldog makes a comeback, but botches a bit when a press slam gets Bret tangled in the ropes. They try it again and it looks a bit better. He hits his delayed vertical suplex, follows up with the running powerslam and Bret kicks out. Bret delivers a German suplex with a bridge, but Bulldog kicks out. They end up clotheslining each other, Bret uses their positioning to turn it into a Sharpshooter, Bulldog crawls to the ropes and it’s released. Bret does a Sunset Flip, Bulldog sits down, hooks the leg and gets the pin out of nowhere. Bulldog is the new champ! Bret goes to leave the ring, but the crowd boos him. He decides to go back, shakes Bulldog’s hand and they hug. Diana enters the ring and their all a happy family yet again.

The undercard has its problems, but damn if the two singles title matches don’t make this a show worth checking out.

Oh, wait! I forgot the best part! With the newfound friendship of Savage and the Ultimate Warrior, we got these promos out of it:

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Posted in comic books, Lists, reviews, Summerslam Countdown, Wrestlecomics by Gavok |