I’m with Hoatzin.

I love the idea of Brubaker and Fraction trading off arcs on Uncanny. I’m a Terry and Rachel Dodson fan. I think that they have an awesome style.

The only wrench in the works is Greg Land for me.

I’m not gonna lie– Land has a seriously sick art style. I used to dig it. His characters are realistic, though his action scenes are kinda stiff, but it’s aesthetically pleasing. Then I started noticing more and more weirdness. Didn’t I see this Storm two issues ago? Wasn’t this Wolverine from…? What’s with these facial expressions?

Land is a hard sell for me right now. Brubaker and Fraction are writing two of my favorite Marvel books and Land is the thing that will make or break it for me. Marvel released his cover for Uncanny 500 and it looks like more of the same.

Solenna, of SolArts.net, feels the same way, but she’s better than I am because she’s got proof and no small amount of skill in creating GIFs. Thanks to our own Hoatzin and FBB’s David Uzumeri in helping her source. Big ups to her for putting in all the leg work, so go to her site and show her some love.

The GIF’s 200-some k. Is that gonna lag anyone out? I figure that we’re all on broadband these days, so we can handle it, right? Direct: http://4thletter.net/gregland.gif

monthly, from dc comics!

I have got to stop talking to this guy. I’m going to get into trouble.

david: I want to start a new line of faux Golden Age comics like Congo Bill and Tarzan
david: about one lone white dude standing vigilant against the dark skins of the inner city
david: Compton Bill
pedro: ha ha
pedro: compton bill is awesome
pedro: oh god
david: i might have ot make another cover 🙁
pedro: i want that comic so badly
pedro: but compton bill should be about an old dude who joins the bloods
pedro: it’s the only way to survive in the neighborhood

For those who do not get the joke: Tarzan, Congo Bill, every jungle girl movie ever, Jungle Book, and other stories were essentially all about what Rudyard Kipling called “The White Man’s Burden.” Bringing peace, light, knowledge, and lots of guns to countries populated by brown skins and shooting them until they give up.

Sorry, that was a little cynical. I don’t read Kipling for the same reasons I don’t read Lovecraft. Let me let wiki tell it:

At face value it appears to be a rhetorical command to white men to colonize and rule people of other nations for their own benefit (both the people and the duty may be seen as representing the “burden” of the title). Because of its theme and title, it has become emblematic both of Eurocentric racism and of Western aspirations to dominate the developing world.[8][9][10] A century after its publication, the poem still rouses strong emotions, and can be analyzed from a variety of perspectives.

The trope of “One Lone Lantern-Jawed White Guy (and possible Jaguar Skin Clad Lady Friend) Kicking Savage (or Gorilla) Butts In Africa” used to be a common one in movies (hello 10,000BC how are you doing while I am over here not watching you) and even more common in fiction.

I just thought I’d update it a little bit. You know, revamp, reboot, and relaunch with a new #1. It was brought on by this, wherein we find out that James Robinson is getting a new Justice League series and introducing a ’90 year old Congo Bill.

Marvel’s panel on the X-Books at Wizard World Los Angeles just ended. Check here for Newsarama’s coverage, here for CBR’s. The most interesting news? Matt Fraction is joining Ed Brubaker on Uncanny X-Men as co-writer starting with issue 500, with rotating art duties by the Dodsons and Greg Land.

Wow. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Fraction and Brubaker are two great tastes that taste great together, and the Dodsons are fine artists, but Greg Land? Seriously? Haven’t people caught on to his plagiarizing ways yet? Why is he on a comic that matters? He’s going to make that book annoying to read at best, unreadable at worst. Just look at the cover for issue 500 alone:

Let’s play “Spot the Ripoffs”!

– Warpath, Cyclops and the guy behind Cyclops have exactly the same body. Land has used it at least once before.
– Tattooed guy on the left and Colossus have exactly the same body.
– Wolverine and long-haired shouting man in the background on the right have exactly the same body, only Wolverine’s head is different. Land has used it at least once before. I distinctly recall Ultimate Namor in this pose as well, but I don’t have the relevant issue at hand.
– Land has used Cannonball’s body at least once before.
– Land has used Rogue (is that Rogue?)’s body at least once before.
– Land has used Storm’s body at least once before.
– Land has used Pixie’s body at least once before. It also happens to be the one with that ridiculous porn face made immortal by Ultimate Scarlet Witch. Very appropriate for a sixteen year old girl!

This is from spending maybe five minutes looking at this image and skimming through four issues of Ultimate Power. I could probably find a lot more if I spent effort on this. Maybe I’d even find the photographs he traced these from. Come on now. This is absolutely ridiculous. Why can’t we have an artist that actually draws?

A while back, I read Jerry Lewis’ book Dean and Me: A Love Story. I never knew much about either guy, but I saw Lewis on Letterman shilling it one night and the stories he told sounded interesting enough that I picked the book up. It’s a heartbreaking story of two friends whose ten year relationship as business partners went to shit due to their own personal flaws and their individual growth as performers. A very good read. Keep in mind that you can’t hear Jerry when you read it, so that’s a plus.

Something interesting Jerry brought up is how Dean Martin was a big comic guy. He was huge into Superman, Batman and Captain Marvel. According to the book, after the first time meeting Frank Sinatra, it was meeting Bob Kane that was Dean’s most star struck moment. It was a neat thing to read about, since in those days comics really were made for kids and Dean Martin was the coolest motherfucker around.

One of the movies they made in their time as a duo was Artists and Models, a movie seemingly custom made for Dean. The very concept of it made me interested enough to want to track down the movie, but it wasn’t until recently that it was available on DVD. I finally got around to watching it and while it isn’t the best movie of the 1950’s, it’s still not bad. It’s definitely interesting to look back on, in terms of the comic-related parts.

To give you an idea, here’s the opening scene, where Eugene (Lewis) and his obsession with comics gets he and his roommate Rick (Martin) fired.

Eugene is mostly into a comic called Bat Lady. Not only does his obsession cost Rick work, but sleep as well, as Eugene’s always having these crazy dreams about a character named Vincent the Vulture and won’t stop screaming. Otherwise, Eugene really wants to write children stories and Rick wants to get work as an artist.

Two ladies take residence in their apartment building. One is Abigail (Dorothy Malone), the writer and artist of Bat Lady, and the other is Bessie (Shirley MacLaine), who works as her model. There’s a subplot where Eugene sees Bessie in full Bat Lady gear and is stoked to find out that the character is actually real, meanwhile giving little notice to Bessie when she’s out of costume. Rick first thinks comic art is a joke, but upon getting the hots for Abigail and realizing how he could easily make a fortune off of it, he quickly changes his mind.

Rick doesn’t have a single comic idea, but instead just steals from Eugene. Whenever Eugene talks in his sleep, Rick would just write down his ideas and secretly work on his own Vincent the Vulture series. It’s pretty ridiculous.

The comic book stuff is pretty funny to watch, just to see how little things have changed. Abigail’s editor keeps insisting that comics need to be more violent and that gore sells. Jerry Lewis’ portrayal of a comic-loving manchild is like a parody of something that barely exists yet. Not to mention his thing for Bat Lady cosplay. A mother blames violent comics for her child’s erratic behavior, yet blatantly shows that she is actually a really shitty parent. The movie is totally before its time.

I should also mention that at one point, Eugene claims on national TV, “Comic books have made me retarded.” I guess that term wasn’t so off-color back then, but it made me laugh.

It is very funny too, despite one really, really bad Rear Window reference. Jerry Lewis may be annoying at times, but with Dean there to play off of him, they really had great comedic chemistry.

It’s just unfortunate that sometime after the one hour mark, the movie goes off in a completely different direction. There’s a subplot out of nowhere on how the Vincent the Vulture comic includes half of a formula that the US government has been using for their rocket ships. So the secret service is trying to get to Rick and Eugene before the Russians can. Huh?!

Other than that, it’s totally worth a look. You can pick it up off Netflix, along with another one of their movies on the same disc.

Oh, and while I was getting that YouTube clip above, I came across this.

Cheryl Lynn poses an interesting question:

You know who I want to see? Waller’s kids. I don’t want them becoming superheroes, but I’m kind of curious as to how Waller has managed to protect them so well with all the dirt that she does and people she has pissed off. Is everyone afraid of the woman? Even crazy loons like the Joker? Actually, it would be interesting to see what Waller would do if one of her kids pulled a Proteus. Would she be able to take her own child down? The only tie left to a husband who was brutally murdered? Given the interesting ways that so many writers at DC have examined family ties, I think it would be a good story.

I can tell you exactly what happened to her kids.

Amanda Waller is a true patriot. She is willing to do the raw and dirty things in order to keep someone else from having to sully themselves. She is damned of her own accord, and she is okay with that. It needs to be done, and if she is the one who has to do it, she definitely will perform to the best of her ability.

Therefore, the absolute last thing she wants is for her kids to have to follow in her footsteps. That’s a standard thing for parents, isn’t it? They don’t want their kids to make the same mistakes or face the same issues that they did. They want their kids to have a brighter future, usually by any means necessary. Parental instinct at work– your kids come first.

So, Waller did a few things once she got into the position we know and love. She made herself available for the dirty jobs, the ones that no one else wanted or could stomach, and then she used that knowledge to secure her children’s future. It isn’t quite blackmail– she’s in a position where blackmail would be a little too obvious. All she has to do is ask for something, and the men in power will stop, think about what she knows, and give it to her. She doesn’t just know where the bodies are buried– she’s got the receipt for the backhoe that dug the hole. So, in a effort to do what all parents attempt to do, Waller looked out for her kids first. I have a few theories.

1. Her surviving family are set for life, though she rarely sees them. College careers funded, houses bought, incredible credit score established, health insurance for life, and so on. No get out of jail free cards. Definitely not. She raised them better than that, and they know better than to get arrested ’cause the only thing worse than getting arrested is to have to call your mom while she’s sleeping, or even worse, at work, and telling her you’re in jail.

(She rarely sees them because it wouldn’t be right. She loves them deeply, but her work has left her hands filthy. She isn’t guilty, and her self-righteousness never cracks, but this goes back to the wanting better.)

2. Cabrini-Green isn’t the same place that murdered her husband and daughter. She took care of her family, and the next step is taking care of business. It’s the exact opposite of our Cabrini-Green. Intelligent federally funded social services hit Cabrini-Green hard in the DCU and turned the place around, all of which was masterminded by a flunky who is at least three offices removed from the desk of one A. Waller. That’s the smokescreen– true patriots don’t need credit. They don’t need praise. They just do. Cabrini-Green took too much from her, so, like Bruce Wayne, she’s going to ensure that that never happens again.

3. If one of her kids went bad, I think that she would have to be the one to put them down. She gave them all the chances in the world, and it is her responsibility to punish them. She wouldn’t like doing it, and it’d probably lead to either a (temporary) break down or retirement. A break down would be the worst thing to possibly happen to her, because when she comes back from that break down, she’s going to overcompensate.

That is when she calls Batman and is like “Meet me at the spot and bring those kid sidekicks of yours. It’s on. We’re going to fix everything.”

Just as an interesting side note, Amanda Waller is either from, or at least lived in for a while, Cabrini-Green, Chicago. You know who else is a world changer from Cabrini-Green? Or rather, “The Green,” as she knows it?

Martha Washington.

Couple more quick hits:

This is a Waller track.

This is the Amanda Waller/Martha Washington theme song. (Will my crush on L-Boogie ever go away? No, I don’t think so.)

And because I’m on a Nas kick, this song is hot. (I’m so glad Nas is back to being good. It was looking dire to be a fan of Nasty Nas for a minute there. Hip-hop is dead… long live hip-hop.)

IGN: From Comics to Screen: Marvel’s Babes

(Nevermind the fact that most of these fictional ladies were created by sex-starved geeks, who imagined such busty and scantily clad female characters from either their mother’s basement, or a studio filled with other similarly sexually deprived male artists.)

Sue Storm: created by Stan Lee (married since 1947) and Jack Kirby (married since 1942)
Mystique: created by Dave Cockrum (married)
Jean Grey: created by Stan Lee (married since 1947) and Jack Kirby (married since 1942)
Mary Jane: created by Stan Lee (married since 1947) and John Romita Sr (his son JRjr was born 08/1956)
Elektra: created by Frank Miller (married to Lynn Varley in the ’80s, divorced now)
Rogue: created by Chris Claremont (has a wife and kids) and Michael Golden (can’t find any info on him)
Storm: created by Len Wein (married twice) and Dave Cockrum (married)

Sex-starved geeks? Sexually deprived?

Characters that were “busty and scantily clad” upon creation: 1 (and that’s Elektra, which is being a little generous.)
Characters created in someone’s mother’s basement: 0
Number of worthwhile articles on IGN.com, period: 0

Me and Gavin know a fella by the name of James Howard. He’s a funny guy, and his blog is well worth a read. Here’s his latest post and one I particularly enjoy. It’s a trip through his city via photographs.

Slurpees and Murder: Local Flavour, Part One: Reading is Fundamental

The comic of Jeph Loeb is fearful. Were the new scrapped vessel body and onslaught where the origin it changes read? Is this junk what?

Oh, sorry. I just tried venting at Jeph Loeb’s current work, only I translated it into Japanese and again back to English. It’s funny how that turned out, isn’t it?

If you recall, a few months back I posted an article that featured the comic adaptation of the Street Fighter live action movie. Sure, I had a ball with it and hopefully you enjoyed it as well, but something felt off about it. Having already seen the movie, it took out a lot of the flavor of the comic. That got me thinking.

There are a ton of comic book superhero movies out there and when you look at it, only recently have they been getting it right more often than naught. Back in the day, yes, we had stuff like Superman 2, but good movies like that were flukes. I like a bad movie as much as the next guy, but even I’ll admit that I’ve stayed away from these monstrosities for one reason or another.

Luckily, I don’t have to see these movies. Marvel and DC have almost always been kind enough to release these superhero stories the old fashion way, within the pages of a comic book. Why overpay for popcorn and sit in a cold theater when I can read about Shaq fighting crime while laying in a hammock in my back yard? I’m sure I won’t have to worry about bad acting or bad special effects.

This will be my first of several articles delving into the double-translated works of superhero movie comics.

The background of this movie confuses me a bit. From the little research I did after reading the comic, it was finished and released in the UK back in 1990, but then they did a bunch of re-shoots and edits before simply releasing it on video in the US in 1992. When I read a summary of the story for the finished version, it definitely shows that Stan wrote his comic about the initial screenplay of the film prior to the edits.

What’s that I said about Stan? Yes, I mean that Stan. The Stan. Stan Lee wrote the comic version of the movie with Bob Hall on art. This makes everything more interesting, since Stan Lee’s storytelling contrasts with anything you can imagine in a movie environment.

Read the rest of this entry �

Find it at The Comics Reporter

SPURGEON: I know that you have an appreciation for the older comics. Can you talk about some of your more fundamental influences? Certainly your work was very different than other stuff that was being done at the time. Do you have classic influences?

HEMBECK: At one point, I sat around — and this was several years before I had anything published — just re-drawing Beetle Bailey strips. So I kind of had Mort Walker in the back of my head. I also sat around re-drawing Neal Adams strips. You can’t see that. [Spurgeon laughs] I have like a whole sketchbook from when I was 18 where I copied whole issues of Green Lantern/Green Arrow and Batman. I’m going, “Man, I’m the new Neal Adams.” But I guess they didn’t need one.

I’m a little late linking to this, but it’s a great read. Who doesn’t love Hembeck?

Why doesn’t he get more work?

monthly, from dc comics.Sonning: to disrespect, disgrace, treat with distaste or disgust, or disregard someone who stands in your way.

Amanda Waller doesn’t dis her foes– she dismisses them. Half the DCU is on her Sonned Squad and the other half is busy filling out applications.

This is Pedro‘s fault again.

Mar 10 10:24:50 man, amanda waller has a scrapbook dedicated to batman sonned moments
10:25:33 david: Amanda Waller has one quote up on the wall behind her desk
10:25:43 david: “I been sonning niggas so long, I think I got a grandson” — Big Pun
10:25:57 pedro: dude,
10:26:02 pedro: dc could release a trade
10:26:13 pedro: Amanda Waller’s biggest sonnings
10:26:21 pedro: oh shit is gavok or hoatzin on?
10:26:26 david: nope pedro
10:26:31 pedro: ugh
10:26:34 pedro: i need a cover of that
10:28:05 david: pedro, i can do that cover
10:28:10 david: maybe
10:28:16 pedro: do it
10:28:18 pedro: please
10:28:18 david: which issue had her chewing out Batman?
10:28:29 pedro: i want to post a series of articles
10:28:35 pedro: just of trades dc could release

Credit where credit is due!