Tom Spurgeon knows how to fix comics, and he’s got a list of 24 things to start with.

10. Institute A Gender/Race Rooney Rule At The Bigger Comics Companies

I know this would be controversial, and maybe not even desirable. Still, I can’t help but think of the National Football League’s Rooney Rule when I think of the lack of female creators and creators of color and the even bigger absence of such individuals in industry positions.

What this would mean is that for every job and for every freelance gig that opens at a participating company, a woman or a cartoonist of color would get to pitch or interview for that gig. This doesn’t mean they’re hired, or doesn’t mean that you can’t have as many folks as you want of whatever gender or racial background pitch or interview if you want. What it does is guarantees that those people that haven’t done well in the comics industry are for the length of the program getting in front of more people with power in the comics industry. They have an opportunity for the duration of the program to make an impression and gain experience at making presentations to comics industry editors and publishers. In return, the industry gets a more frequent look at a group of creators and potential industry members that it has — for whatever reason — not done a very good job of exploiting to maximum effect. If an industry like professional football can matter-of-factly look at its history of hiring and giving assignments and realize that they’re not making the best use of all the talents out there for whatever reason, the comics industry should be able to do the same on a volunteer basis.

This is actually one of the least interesting points in a 24-point essay. It’s the least interesting because all of the other points are so good, particularly numbers 6, 7, 11, and 24.

Well, here it is! The last day.

In the penultimate installment, Quicksilver sacrificed himself for his father by taking an arrow to the chest. The irony is that he would have been able to run in there in time to catch the arrow with his hands if he didn’t have that limp from being shot in the knees by Magneto back in Ultimate War! Good going, Master of Magnetism.

Here’s the rest.

And that does it. My eternal thanks to ManiacClown for writing this with me from issue #1. Thanks to hermanos for the site to showcase this and his never ending support. Thanks to the MightyGodKing himself, Christopher Bird, for his guidance. Thanks to Jeph Loeb, the Joel Schumacher of comics, for giving us such an easy target.

And especially thanks to all of you readers out there who enjoyed it. Even those of you who didn’t enjoy it. You gave it a shot anyway, so I can’t argue.

Now, will there be some kind of Ultimatum Edit in the near future? Hm… we’ll see.

BUT! I can do you one better. I’m sure many of you have heard of Rifftrax, the website second coming of Mystery Science Theater 3000, headed by Mike Nelson and the rest. Some of you may have heard of iRiffs, the new feature on the site. Now any moron with a microphone and time on his hands can put together his own Rifftrax selections for the public to purchase and enjoy.

I am one of these morons.

That’s right. Me, Nick “ManiacClown” Zachariasen and my old friend James Howard will be making fun of things video/audio-style. Here we’re just starting off with Japoteurs, a somewhat racist Superman cartoon from the 40’s. But we have a lot more in the works, so stay tuned once the iRiffs section is up and running.

Tomorrow or so, I’ll probably have some kind of annotations thing for Ultimate Edit up. So if you’re into that kind of stuff, check it out.

Again, thanks for reading, folks. It’s been a blast.

Variety reports that because of the success of Smallville and, I’m thinking, the death of the last executive to okay the Birds of Prey series, the CW will be ‘prepping’ The Graysons, a story about a young acrobat in the years before he will become Batman’s sidekick.

That’s right. You know him, you love him, and his name is . . .

Read the rest of this entry �

Home stretch time.

In the last installment, Ant Man said something really unbearably stupid. Let’s move on as the Ultimates confront Magneto, not with actions, but with words.

So, yeah, if you were wondering where I was going with that inner dialogue about Iron Man’s spine, there you go.

Thanks to writing partner ManiacClown for coming up with too much usable dialogue so that I had to make the text all scrunched up and awkward looking to fit in some word bubbles. Thanks a lot, jerk!

Tomorrow is the big conclusion. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Day Seven!

If you didn’t miss out on yesterday’s happenings, you probably remember Valkyrie defeating her mutant captors and Yellowjacketron’s army making a fool out of Magneto. Luckily for Magneto, the cavalry has arrived in the form of the Ultimates! Hurray for two-page splash pages!

By the way, if you’re wondering just what was really said in that scene, I’d be more than happy to explain it.

“Don’t you know how close we are to being you? I’d rather not kill you, Jan. My experimentation on your DNA has only begun. Besides… you’re almost like a mother to me.”

“Then I guess that makes me… THE MOTHERFUCKER!”

Jeph Loeb, everybody. Let’s give him a hand.

On another note, people are all excited about the new Thor movie and the announcement of Kenneth Branagh as the director. Personally, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Not that he’s the director, mind you, but that they’re making a Thor movie. We already did have a Thor movie! Don’t you remember?

Thanks again to my editing associate ManiacClown. We’ll be back tomorrow and a very special installment the day after that.

Day Six!