Life Imitating Art

January 17th, 2007 by | Tags:

Wacky thing happened to me today. As some readers may know, I work at Barnes and Noble. I’ve worked there for a while and it’s indeed a nice job. I get a decent enough employee discount, which I use for comics, issues of Hardcore Gamer Magazine and more Dr. Phil books than I can handle. Some of our comics come out before regular comic stores get them, such as Marvel Adventures Avengers. I also have a habit of running into notable characters like people from Wizard, director Malcolm Lee (who was jonesing for some Cage and Iron Fist comics) and artist extraordinaire Mark Texeira. This part pisses off Georgia-based hermanos, who I think once gave directions to a guy who did the lettering for a couple old issues of Fantastic Force and that’s it.

These past couple months have been a pain. The holidays are a nightmare to all who work retail. Now that it’s over, our manpower has been cut and we have half the people working shifts. They decided to start that on the Sunday before MLK Day, which turned out to be a major mistake. The place now looks like a tornado hit it. Things got worse when a local pipe burst and we lost our source of clean water. To cap it all off, our cafe’s freezer busted last night.

In tragedy, I found just enough comedy to get by…

Today I was pulled away from my usual duties to dispose of the freezer’s contents. Had we been a restaurant, this would have absolutely ruined us. Luckily, we’re a bookstore with an add-on café, so we’ll go on. Tossing the stuff into the dumpster in the cold was a pain in the ass, and at one point my jacket got slopped over by a barrage of rotten cupcakes. Plus it was kind of depressing to see all that wasted food.

I was still laughing, though. Earlier on, the café manager and one of the other store managers were discussing the damage. They talked about how all the soup and cookies were going bad. Then I heard the café manager say the one magic sentence.

“Do you realize we lost 40 cakes?”

The cosmic punchline hits me like a Wildcat haymaker. My mind shifts immediately to this image.

Forcing a grim appearance, I looked down, shook my head and remarked, “And that’s terrible.” On the inside, I’m giggling like an idiot. That damned fictional villain was back to his old tricks, sabotaging our freezer just so he could get to me, an avid Supernova fan.

I guess God really does work in mysterious ways. And he’s a fan of the Super Dictionary.

I am Gavok and that was my anecdote. Thanks for letting me waste your time.

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9 comments to “Life Imitating Art”

  1. XD Oh, I’m so sorry, that’s so awesome.

  2. I quite like that bloke in the photo’s trousers.

  3. Bwahahah! But –

    “…and more Dr. Phil books than I can handle.”

    So, one? That’s more than any sane person can handle. It does, though, give the post a nice “bald, poorly-dressed supervillain” motif.

  4. My pants are AWESOME!

  5. That photo was my handiwork! Without my aid, Gavin’s terrible theft of 40 cakes would have gone tragically unrecorded.

  6. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling employees!

  7. Gavok, for your next exploit will you steal a child’s report card?

  8. Wait… so you hate Superman?

  9. IT’S A SIGN.