Here’s my favorite Halloween-related thing. Back in the day, Alice Cooper was abducted by Jason Voorhees. The Terminator decided that Axl Rose wasn’t worth killing. Both the Fat Boys and the Fresh Prince were each terrorized by Freddy Krueger.
But Dokken doesn’t play that weak shit. Kick his ass, Don! WITH ROCK!
Key words: Dustin Nguyen, Halloween short story, Batman, Geto Boys.
Click or be turned into a pillar of salt.
For reference:
The video scared the life out of me as a kid.
More artists should do this. Someone turn Ghostface’s “Run” into a comic strip, please.
I was supposed to have a Spider-Man 3 related article up tonight. That isn’t happening. Let’s look at the excuses I have this time:
– Sick as a dog. If you ever spend a couple months on a diet, I don’t care how much of a hurry you are in. You never, ever have McDonald’s. I’m never making that mistake again.
– That CHIKARA DVD contest ends on November 1st. I need all the time I can to dedicate to Photoshop usage.
– Guitar Hero 3, motherfucker.
– Part of the article involves rereading Spider-Man: Reign. If I’m doing that, I need about six hours of mental preparation.
But I’m not here empty-handed. Since it’s Halloween, a day about dressing up in goofy costumes, here is Venom dressed as a nun. Is there a good reason for it? Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. I forget.
I love broccoli clones. No matter what you do to them, you don’t feel bad.
Walk down the right back alley of 4th Letter and you can find… well, articles about stuff.
It’s a good time for a new What If article. Not only does What If: Avengers Disassembled come out this Wednesday, but Halloween’s right around the corner. What If and Halloween go together hand-in-hand. On Halloween, children dress up as their favorite superheroes. In What If, Frank Castle dresses up as Captain America. On Halloween, the theme is horror and gore. In What If, characters die by the dozen if you ask them politely. Halloween is represented by a bald kid with a big head, whining about how all he got from trick-or-treating was a rock. What If is represented by a bald guy with a big head, telling us about times when Ben Grimm didn’t get covered in rocks.
Okay, this is going too far. Let’s get to the article.
15) WHAT IF NOVA HAD BEEN FOUR OTHER PEOPLE?
Issue: Volume 1, #15
Writer: Marv Wolfman
Artist: Simonson Wiacek, Infantino Springer, Andru Giacoi and Perez Palmer
Spider-Man death: Yes
Background: The Green Lant—I mean, Nova got his powers when the previous Nova Rhomann Dey was mortally wounded while around Earth’s atmosphere. He transferred his powers and spot in the Nova Corps to a human at random. That human turned out to be Richard Rider, who continues to fight as Nova to this very day as the main hero of Annihilation. So if he was randomly picked, that opens up a lot of possibilities.
The first story begins with a mugger killing a man and running off in a panic. The victim’s wife, Helen Taylor, screams a vow that she’s going to find this guy and kill him. Months pass and Helen stands at her husband’s grave, sad that the police are no use and there’s nothing she can really do to help him. Only a miracle can set things right.
I mourn this image, not for the loss of Timothy Leary, but for the loss of Vaudeville Silver Surfer. You’d think that with Keith Giffen writing Annihilation, we’d see him make a comeback.
40) WHAT IF… STARRING SABRETOOTH: SCREAMS IN THE NIGHT!
Issue: Volume 2, #87
Writer: Dan Abnett
Artist: Frank Teran
Spider-Man death: No
Background: Sabretooth was, for a time, a captive in the X-Mansion with Xavier hoping he could mentally fix what’s wrong with him. One time, when most of the team was out on a mission, a power failure in the mansion allowed Sabretooth to escape. He didn’t get too far, though. When he went after Jubilee, Bishop went up against him and knocked him out with a powerful blast. Our story here begins with Jubilee crying over the shredded-up body of Bishop. Uh oh.
