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We Care About Journalism

July 31st, 2013 Posted by Gavok

Joe Lynch directed this sweet-ass short film called Truth in Journalism. In a fake documentary in the style of Man Bites Dog, a trio of filmmakers follow around disgraced newspaper reporter Eddie Brock. Obsessed with showing his side of the story and what he’s all about, Eddie appears to be a little unhinged, low on scruples, lower on compassion and he’s definitely hiding some kind of secret. Eddie’s played by True Blood star Ryan Kwanten.

Definitely watch it past the credits.

He’s just a smidge too scummy in parts for my taste as an Eddie Brock fanboy, but it’s still a damn fine little movie.

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Wrestling with Reality

July 30th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

The other day, E! started airing Total Divas, a new reality show depicting the lives of the female WWE roster. I mean, considering they’re only allowed three minutes per match on any given show, they might as well get their own showcase somewhere. This show is just the latest in a lengthy relationship between wrestling and reality TV, creating an Inception-style look at what’s real through a show that is just as fake. We’ve already had Tough Enough and Hogan Knows Best while reality shows have introduced us to the likes of the Miz and David Otunga.

Friends of mine Bob and Vinny started discussing all the other future wrestling-based reality shows we might one day see. Soon I got involved, as did other buddies Marc, John and Jesse. As a complete waste of time, here’s our list of 50 Reality Shows to Expand the WWE Universe:

The Amazing Harley Race
America’s Nexus Top Model
Ass Men
Ax and Smash Plus Eight
Big Steiner Brother
The Biggest Jobber
Brother of Love
Celebrity Fit Finlay Club
Chops
CM Punk’d
Dog the Hunter Hearst Helmsley
The Evan Bournes
Extreme Championship Makeover
Fatu Nightmares
Freakzillas
The GI Bro Schmo Show
The Iron Man Matchelor
The Jersey Triad Shore
Johnny B. Badd Girls’ Club
Junkyard Dog Whisperer
Kid Kash Cab
Kitchen Snapmares
Legion of Room Raiders
Mankind vs. Food
Master Chefs of the Powerbomb
Miami Inkface
Mr. America’s Got Talent
Mizbusters
The Mr. Kennedy Experiment
MTV’s Word Life: I’m a Master of Thugganomics
The Next Food Network Starrcade
Project Greenmist
The Real Horsemen of New Jersey
The Real World’s Strongest Man
Ryback Road Rules
Sunny Boo Boo
Super Crazy Nanny
Survivor: The Series
Teen M.O.M.
Todd Grishams in Tiaras
Total Kama Island
The Ultimate Warrior
Undercover Boss Man
Uso Think You Can Dance
White Castle of Fear Factor
Who Wants to be a Superhero in Training?
Who Wants to Marry a Million Dollar Man?
Wife-Edged Swap
The X-Factor

And that’s my limit of puns for the day.

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This Week in Panels: Week 201

July 29th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

You said it, Spidey. But Sunday is Sunday, so let’s get to it.

My crew this week includes Gaijin Dan, Matlock and Space Jawa. I don’t have anything else to really add to this white noise of an intro, so here. The theme to Pacific Rim. Listen to it as you skim the rest… or as you hit a monster in the face with a battleship. Either way.

With that out of the way, panels away!

All-Star Western #22 (Matlock’s pick)
Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti and Moritat

All-Star Western #22 (Gavin’s pick)
Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti and Moritat

Aquaman #22
Geoff Johns and Paul Pelletier

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This Character in Panels (3 of 3)

July 26th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

All right. Yesterday we stopped right at Nick Fury. Also, that Kieron Gillen guy showed up in the comments and that’s rad as all get out! Let’s continue to the end.

Ninjette
Chosen by: Mr Wind Up Bird
Empowered #4
Adam Warren

Nova
Chosen by: SilverSupernova
Nova #2
Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning and Sean Chen

Orion
Chosen by: Brobe
New Gods #9
Jack Kirby

Phobos
Chosen by: Gavin
Secret Warriors #8
Jonathan Hickman and Alessandro Vitti

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This Character in Panels (2 of 3)

July 25th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

Yesterday, we made it to G. Let’s continue from there and hit N.

Glory
Chosen by: Darth Nat
Glory #27
Joe Keatinge and Ross Campbell

Gorilla Man
Chosen by: Gavin
Agents of Atlas #1
Jeff Parker and Leonard Kirk

Green Goblin
Chosen by: prezbuluskey
Thunderbolts #120
Warren Ellis and Mike Deodato Jr.

Groot
Chosen by: Space Jawa
Guardians of the Galaxy #8
Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning and Brad Walker

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This Character in Panels (1 of 3)

July 24th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

The other day, my regular series This Week in Panels hit the glorious Week 200. In preparation, I asked for assistance in putting together this special article This Character in Panels. Well, you guys didn’t disappoint. I got a shitload of entries from all around. It was overwhelming in the sense that a job I thought would take just a couple hours instead took me until today. Also, because of the many images involved, I’ve decided to split this into three parts, posting one a day.

The basic idea is to showcase one panel of a character’s history that best sums them up. It might be serious. It might be funny. It might not even have them in the panel at all! I got a lot of stuff from readers and people at the Something Awful forum and even had to ignore a bunch of entries because either they gave me splash pages (which I never use for these) or the complete lack of issue information.

Hell, I wanted to use that infamous, “PUNISHMENT DAY!” panel of Punisher 2099, but I have no idea which issue it’s from, so I passed. Regardless, thanks to everyone who helped out.

Oh, and I’m not listing the volume information for any of these. I have enough headaches as is.

Let’s start it off from A to G.

Alana and Marko
Chosen by: Gavin
Saga #10
Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples

Animal Man
Chosen by: LtKenFrankenstein
Animal Man #26
Grant Morrison and Chaz Truog

Ant-Man (Eric O’Grady)
Chosen by: Gavin
Thunderbolts #131
Andy Diggle and Roberto Delatorre

Aquaman
Chosen by: Gavin
Aquaman #1
Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis

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This Week in Panels: WEEK 200!

July 22nd, 2013 Posted by Gavok

Yikes! I never thought this would ever last this long. Started as an exercise in keeping me on some kind of deadline, This Week in Panels has been going strong for the last two hundo weeks. The idea is simple. Take the new comics me and my calvary have read over the week and chop them down until there’s one panel that best sums up the issue. It’s fun and people seem to like it, which is why it’s lasted so long.

My crew this time includes Gaijin Dan, Space Jawa, Matlock and Jody. Buddy Dickeye tried to toss me a panel for Avengers, but it kind of doesn’t work.

Yeah, Space Knights (sans Rom, the only one anyone cares about). Those are cool and all, but they have barely anything to do with anything. They’re in there for one panel and are never referenced. Still, I posted it here anyway because I didn’t want my first panel for ThWiP 200 to be whatever the hell that nightmare is in Animal Man.

No, seriously. What the fuck is this thing?!

Animal Man #22
Jeff Lemire, Steve Pugh and Francis Portela

Avengers #16
Jonathan Hickman, Nick Spencer and Stefano Caselli

Batman ’66 #3 (Gavin’s pick)
Jeff Parker and Jonathan Case

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Those are Some Achewood Mashups I Have

July 19th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

Despite petering off due to a bevy of different reasons (including the possibility of an animated series), Achewood has been a major staple in the internet for well over a decade. The webcomic about some cats, an otter, a couple bears, a tiger, a squirrel and some robots has entertained many with its weird adventures and memorable dialogue. Every now and then, I’ve found myself editing certain comic books to fit the scene and essentially recreate key Achewood strips.

So here comes a special batch of Achewood/other comics mashups.

Transmetropolitan vs. Can I has Cheezburger

Infinite Crisis vs. Fluff My Hog

Killing Joke vs. Chicken Allergy/Bubble Boy
(by Maniac Clown)

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Guide to the Injustice Roster: DLC Appendix 5

July 16th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

Evo 2013 has come and gone and while the bland Injustice: Gods Among Us tournament showcase probably poisoned the well for the game getting another high-profile appearance next year, it did at least show off a new trailer for Injustice DLC. Not only is John Stewart an available alternate skin for Green Lantern (Phil LaMarr voice acting included), but they’ve announced the first of the second set of DLC characters in Martian Manhunter.

So let’s take a look at the history of everyone’s second-favorite cookie monster.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER

Alias: J’onn J’onzz, John Jones, Fernus the Burning, Bloodwynd, Bronze Wraith and dozens of others
First Appearance: Detective Comics #225 (1955)
Powers: Super strength, speed, shape-shifting, telepathy, invisibility, laser vision, flight, intangibility
Other Media: Was a big player in the Justice League cartoon, showed up on some of the different Batman cartoons and starred in the terrible live-action Justice League pilot/movie.

Years ago, Patton Oswalt wrote a graphic novel called JLA: Welcome to the Working Week, where the main character – existing as Oswalt’s mouthpiece – referred to Martian Manhunter as the Bob Dylan to Superman’s Elvis Presley. When you’re a kid, you love the optimistic spitcurl, but when you get older, you start to appreciate the more serious giant brow. Martian Manhunter is a great foil for Superman, mainly different in that he was an adult when he made his exodus from his dying planet and that affects him differently.

The original origin was that J’onn J’onnz, a Martian lawman, was accidentally transported to Earth thanks to an experiment by Dr. Erdel. While Erdel would have been able to send him back, the shock of seeing this Martian caused him to have a heart attack and die. In the original continuity, Mars was still populated, so J’onn was driven by his quest to return. Back then, the idea of shipping a guy to Mars, even in a superhero world, was considered rather difficult. How novel.

J’onn used his shape-shifting abilities to take the identity of John Jones (get it?) and became a detective who would use his powers to give him the edge. His appearance as Martian Manhunter was meant to be a middle-ground version between Martian and human, being the best of both worlds. He joined the Justice League, used mainly as a stand-in for when the publishers felt Superman was being used way too much. For decades, J’onn was considered to be THE staple member of the Justice League. He appeared in nearly every incarnation of the team, which offset how little juice he had in carrying his own solo series, no matter how many times they tried.

Eventually, J’onn was reunited with his people and went on to rule Mars. He was written out of comics for a while until being brought back into the Justice League fold. I seem to remember that he had to save Earth from his own people in the final adventure of the classic “Satellite-Era Justice League” (ie. the original version of the team that started in the 60’s and ended in the 80’s). There was a part where he challenged another Martian to a fight and while the narrative strictly said that they were both invisible during this fight, the artist drew them like normal anyway.

Things got pretty dark for Martian Manhunter around this time. He was on the outs with his race. He joined the infamously bad Justice League Detroit (otherwise known as Aquaman leading a team of angsty teenagers) and ended up becoming the leader towards the end, only to have a couple of the kids tragically die on his watch. Then after Crisis on Infinite Earths changed continuity, it also reshaped J’onn’s origin. J’onn’s insane brother unleashed a plague upon Mars that wiped out everyone but J’onn himself. Not only did Dr. Erdel’s machine pull him from space, but also from time. The destruction of Mars was thousands of years ago. Like Superman, he was the last of his kind… until they brought in guys who were also Martians down the line.

It picked up for J’onn, though. He had a big role in Justice League International, known for being the fun and funny era. He mainly played the straight man to jokey characters Guy Gardner, Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. Thanks to Captain Marvel, he was also turned onto Oreo cookies (later renamed Chocos due to trademark) and became addicted. He also led his own Justice League side-team called Justice League: Task Force and nothing of note came from that other than the time he temporarily turned himself female.

Every now and then, J’onn and the Justice League would have to face the White Martians, a genetic offshoot who were more dedicated to war while the Green Martians were more peaceful. The most famous of these battles was the beginning of Grant Morrison’s Justice League run where a team of superheroes came to Earth to create a utopia while antagonizing the Justice League. Batman figured out that they were White Martians in disguise and easily defeated them thanks to their weakness of fire.

Fire is something all Martians fear, though it’s shown to be more of a psychological weakness than physiological. In other words, fire only hurts J’onn because he lets it. He briefly got together with a reformed fire-based villain named Scorch, who helped him get over his fear of fire. This turned out disastrous. We found out that eons ago, when the Martians were still primitive life forms, they were both bloodthirsty and virtually unstoppable. The Guardians of the Universe (Green Lantern’s bosses) were concerned with what this would mean if the Martians could evolve to figure out space flight. They intervened and subdued the entire race, injecting them all with a fear of fire as a way to keep them all in check.

No longer bound by this gigantic weakness, J’onn became corrupted by this savage, forgotten piece of his bloodline. He became a beast known as Fernus the Burning and showed that he was really the most powerful member of the League all along, as even Superman was helpless against him. Turned out Batman had a solution to this situation as well by siccing Plastic Man on him. Plastic Man’s immune to mind control and has a better grasp on shapeshifting, so he was able to help take down the mad Martian. J’onn and Fernus were separated from each other as two different identities in the end.

Nothing much happened with J’onn for a while. After Infinite Crisis, he got a new look that looked closer to his pure Martian form, mainly due to his pessimism towards humanity. This was for his new solo series which once again sold like shit and was canceled. J’onn was killed by Libra and the Secret Society of Supervillains in the story Final Crisis. Sweetly enough, Batman visited J’onn’s tomb and left a single Choco cookie.

J’onn returned from the grave during Blackest Night as one of the more unbeatable walking corpses. At the end of the story, he was one of the dozen characters fully resurrected. J’onn then starred in the series Brightest Day, where he was able to make Mars fertile again and ended up clashing with an insane Green Martian D’kay. J’onn had to kill D’kay and destroy the budding life on Mars, showing that in the end, Earth was his only true home.

With the New 52 reboot, J’onn had never joined the Justice League in the past but instead was part of Stormwatch, a cloak and dagger superhero organization. There, J’onn fought against evil from the shadows, but eventually left the team and removed all their memories of him being there in the first place. Since then, Martian Manhunter has been brought into the Justice League of America, the US government’s personal team meant to counter the regular Justice League if they ever get out of line. Martian Manhunter is there to deal with Superman.

Probably the saddest depiction of J’onn is in Kingdom Come, the dystopian future storyline. In order to give Superman vs. Captain Marvel more gravitas, J’onn had to be taken off the table. He appeared in one scene to aid Batman, depicted as a gibbering and mentally broken John Jones who could barely function after trying to open his mind to all of humanity. Poor guy.

One of the better Martian Manhunter stories is New Frontier, which exists as both a wonderful graphic novel and a pretty good animated film. When showing off his hybrid superhero appearance to a human friend, he was flatly told, “Real men wear pants.” And that’s a fair point because, really, what the hell is that outfit?

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This Week in Panels: Week 199

July 15th, 2013 Posted by Gavok

*yawn*

Yo. Welcome to This Week in Panels. Posted this later than I wanted to thanks to spending the entire day working/watching Evo/watching Money in the Bank. I’m tired.

My panel crew this week is made up of Matlock, Gaijin Dan, Jody, Space Jawa, Was Taters and the grand return of one David Brothers! Remember, next week is Week 200 and that’s when I’ll be doing This Character in Panels. I have a lot of great stuff so far and if you have anything you want represented, by all means send me a line. Deadline is July 21st.

Remember that it should be one panel (not a sequence or splash page) and try to have the issue number, writer and artist.

Meanwhile, after seeing Pacific Rim the other day, I ended up buying tickets for my first ever Kaiju Big Battel show this Saturday. This will be a few hours after my next improv performance, this time at the UCB Theater in Chelsea at 1:15. If you’re in the area, check it out.

Now roll that beautiful bean footage.

Avatar: The Last Airbender: The Search Part 2
Gene Luen Yang and Gurihiru

Batman #22 (Taters’ pick)
Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo, James Tynion IV and Rafael Albuquerque

Batman #22 (Gavin’s pick)
Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo, James Tynion IV and Rafael Albuquerque

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