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“Can I touch your afro? TOO LATE HA HA!”

January 9th, 2012 by | Tags: ,

Someone on Twitter, I forget who (sorry), posted a link to “Shit White Girls Say… to Black Girls,”, and this video had me laughing hard at work.

With a few exceptions (“Jews were slaves, too” & “My grandma hates collards” mainly, ’cause what kind of monster hates greens?), I’ve heard all of this, despite not being a black girl. This is one of those “So funny it’s true!” videos, and its jokes have plenty of bite. I keep my hair super short in part because some white people LOVE to touch black hair, like it’s catnip or magical or something. (It isn’t. It’s just black. And mine.) If I say no, you can’t touch my hair, then that’s… I don’t even know, playing hard to get? “Your mouth says no but your hair says YES YES YES TOUCH ME TOUCH ME?” And I mean, I’m a grown man with a good aight job who’s self-sufficient, and people still pull that. I had a mohawk for a couple months in late 2011 (word to travis bickle) and it still happened. C’mon, son. It’s always so awkward, too, because nobody means nothing by it but it’s enraging and then you’re taking things too seriously and you gotta loosen up, your hair’s cute, i just wanna touch it and–

Don’t even get me started on afro-fetishism (it’s not that cool of a hairstyle, y’all, especially after you put your hands in it) or calling black folks some variety of chocolate or other brown foods as a romantic thing. Really? Are you twelve?

This chick saying “______ is soooo ghetto” and “Hollerrrrr” had me in stitches. It’s a dead on impersonation, and the ghetto one is a particular pet peeve of mine. It’s pretty screwed up, if you think about how that word is used and the perception of who is in the ghetto.

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Posted in brief bits, Colored Commentary by david brothers |

14 comments to ““Can I touch your afro? TOO LATE HA HA!””

  1. People wanting to touch your hair is just weird. Creepy, too.

         by Randy January 9th, 2012 at 14:45 --replyReply to this comment

  2. “Ghetto” originally referred to places where Jews were forced to live, but time marches on.

         by John F. January 9th, 2012 at 15:26 --replyReply to this comment

  3. @John F.: thanks for the history lesson, i had no idea that the meanings of words changes over time and that jews were once forced to live in ghettos

    @Randy: I agree. A lot of people don’t, I guess.

         by david brothers January 9th, 2012 at 15:41 --replyReply to this comment

  4. @david brothers: Er, sorry? I wasn’t trying to be a bitch.

         by John F. January 9th, 2012 at 16:10 --replyReply to this comment

  5. @John F.: My bad. I guess I read your comment wrong.

         by david brothers January 9th, 2012 at 16:46 --replyReply to this comment

  6. I’ve heard just about all of them. Especially the hair thing. My hair has been locked for the past ten years so the amount of “Can I touch your hair” isn’t likely to abate anytime soon.

         by Kedd January 9th, 2012 at 18:07 --replyReply to this comment

  7. @Kedd

    Prior to joining the service, I wore my hair in locks. If I had a dollar for every time that someone (almost always a literal stranger) just walked up to me and started yanking on my hair, let’s just say that I wouldn’t have had the money issues that led to my signing on the dotted line…

         by Wafflebot January 9th, 2012 at 20:23 --replyReply to this comment

  8. Don’t even get me started on afro-fetishism (it’s not that cool of a hairstyle, y’all, especially after you put your hands in it) or calling black folks some variety of chocolate or other brown foods as a romantic thing. Really? Are you twelve?

    That’s unfair, David. You know “Sexual Chocolate” Mark Henry is my favorite wrestler :frown:

         by Gavok January 9th, 2012 at 21:20 --replyReply to this comment

  9. The video was on point. Reminded me of growing up in NYC. One thing she didn’t have is when people talk to you on the phone, then meet you in person and are “surprised” you are black…as in “oh! you sounded white on the phone!” I got that the most, lol.

         by Darrell January 10th, 2012 at 08:04 --replyReply to this comment

  10. Wearing your hair low only works to a point, if at all. I shaved my head and had to literally jump back to keep women from touching it after I declined to grant permission for them to do so.

    I think the interest in “different” is natural and fine but there’s a limit.

         by West January 10th, 2012 at 10:06 --replyReply to this comment

  11. so funny. not just the phrases themselves but also the girl’s acting and timing.

         by ross January 10th, 2012 at 10:57 --replyReply to this comment

  12. Wait, you’re black? That’s weird, you don’t sound black when you write.

         by Jim January 12th, 2012 at 08:49 --replyReply to this comment

  13. @Jim: Yeah, I have to make sure to use my white voice when I write so that I don’t scare all these comics fans around here.

         by david brothers January 12th, 2012 at 08:50 --replyReply to this comment

  14. You’ve never heard “Jews were slaves too”? Wow, I used to hear that garbage all the time. Quite a few of my fellow Jews I grew up with were bitter that anyone else ever had a rough time and bust that crap out whenever anyone objected to privilege.

    Also, I don’t want to make it all about me, but I think this is funny too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51dFlpwKkBM (Shit Christians say to Jews)

         by Lugh January 13th, 2012 at 12:01 --replyReply to this comment