I’ve been working on my next We Care a Lot article, which centers on a certain 14-part Spider-Man/Venom team-up story from the 90’s that we all know so well. It’s going to be one of the longer write-ups and it should be up in just a day or so. Because of the length, I couldn’t find a spot to fit this in. It’s from the editorial column in Web of Spider-Man #102 and it caught my eye.
That’s kind of rough to read in hindsight. For the few of you not in the know, that’s talking about the Roger Corman Fantastic Four movie from the 90’s. A terrible movie created on a shoestring budget for no reason other than allowing the studio to legally hold onto the franchise for a few more years. The entire movie was created and only a handful of people involved knew that the studio had no intention whatsoever to release it. It stands with the Star Wars Holiday Special as one of the most bootlegged videos out there.
I love how excited that article is. All that hype. They just can’t wait to be able to watch THIS.
“REED! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT HAVE YOU doooooooooooone?”
The wedding scene mentioned is also the final scene of the movie, so thanks for the spoilers, jerks!
Posted in brief bits by Gavok | | Comments Off on Excited About the New Fantastic Four Movie, Guys?
It was pretty much the only comics movie I was really looking forward to this year (unless I forgot about something, but I doubt it), so I caught X-Men First Class while I was on vacation last weekend. Overall? I dug it. It’s not the best-written or best-directed Marvel flick, but it has a strong visual style all its own, and it being set in the non-swingin’ sixties apparently counts for a lot for me. I’d rank it as being better–for whatever better means, I guess “more enjoyable” at this specific point in time–than the other X-Men and Spider-Man flicks. Better than Iron Man, even. It’s less cute, and there’s no Robert Downey charmingly stumbling his way into your heart.
Anyway, I have Opinions:
-Michael Fassbender as Magneto as Simon Wiesenthal was a good look. Magneto in the comics is… I don’t want to say soft, but he’s very comic book. He’s simplified, boiled down into that superhero/supervillain dichotomy. In X-Men First Class, he’s much more human, and even more relatable.
-I hadn’t realized how much I liked the character, the idea, of Magneto before this, but yeah: I like him a lot. There are two key lines that were blown in the trailer that I think are significant. I’m copy/pasting from Wikipedia, since I saw this days ago and already forgot, but:
Professor Charles Xavier: We have it in us to be the better man.
Erik Lehnsherr: We ALREADY are.
and
Professor Charles Xavier: Listen to me very carefully, my friend: Killing will not bring you peace.
Erik Lehnsherr: Peace was never an option.
-My Magneto is probably similar to Morrison’s–he’s a mad old terrorist, but he’s not entirely wrong, either. He’s extremely powerful as a symbol, which I already knew and enjoyed, but X-Men First Class added a human component that I enjoy. The conflict in the comics comes from the fact that Magneto becomes what he despises (a Nazi) out of a desire to protect his race. Goofy comic book plotting.
-What I like about Magneto, what those lines unlocked, is that 1) he’s lost and he knows it and 2) some people deserve to die. It’s part of why crime fiction, and more specifically, Frank Miller’s The Big Fat Kill, are so appealing/interesting to me. Morality through immorality/amorality. Who puts the bullet in the head of him that deserves it?
-Magneto is convinced of his race’s superiority (and he’s technically correct), but he’s also come to accept that he is broken. He’s a martyr in his own mind, and the one person willing to do what must be done in order to protect his kin. His life doesn’t matter, so long as he spends it for his people.
-Peace isn’t an option because his peace was stolen decades ago.
-Fassbender, man. SO manly. I’d watch a sequel that was him terrorizing his way through the ’60s and ’70s. Magneto the Jackal.
-I liked James McAvoy as Xavier, too. He wasn’t as revelatory as Fassbender, but his callous, arrogant Xavier worked. The little touches, like the way he used groovy while hitting on coeds or how he didn’t really get the mutant struggle, were great, too.
-Rose Byrne as Moira, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Caleb Landry Jones as Banshee, and Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique were all pretty okay. Good enough that I would watch them in sequels, but not standouts.
-January Jones was terrible.
-The major cameo was as great as everyone else has said, and the Cerebro sequence was pretty cool, too.
-Kevin Bacon was great. It’s like he saw Stephen Dorff as Deacon Frost, one of my most favorite roles ever, and was like, “Yo, I can top that. Sebastian Shaw? Son, I got this. Watch.” Fassbender > Bacon > McAvoy > everybody else > January Jones.
-I like Zoe Kravitz. I thought she did a fine enough job with a poisoned chalice. And I mean, her mom is Lisa Bonet and her dad is Lenny Kravitz, and she looks it. Instantly made my top ten dead or alive list.
-The list changes constantly, but right now we’re looking at Rosario Dawson, Anna Karina, Scarlett Johansson, Aubrey Plaza, Rashida Jones, Salma Hayek, Josephine Baker, Aki Hoshino, Lucille Ball, Sade, and Erykah Badu. That’s eleven. Vivica Fox or Lisa Bonet might rotate onto the list soon, too.
-But yeah, let’s talk about what I didn’t like.
-It sucked to be black in the sixties, and that goes double if you’re a mutant, apparently. Edi Gathegi as Darwin died in one of the dumbest scenes in any movie anywhere and Kravitz turned evil because dot dot dot.
-Darwin basically served two purposes in the movie. He was there so that when someone said “slavery” when talking about mutant rights, the camera could focus on his face. He was there to die to give Shaw some cheap heat.
-Here’s a scene, paraphrased fairly faithfully:
Shaw: What’s your power?
Darwin: Evolving to survive anything.
Shaw: Survive this. *puts a fireball in Darwin’s mouth*
*Darwin dies slowly over the next minute while making a sad face*
*white people are sad*
*every black person in the audience leans over to the nearest black person like “niggas always gotta die first”*
:negativeman:
-Get outta here. Really? It wasn’t even a shin hadouken. That was a medium punch joint at best. It looked like a gadouken.
-Darwin was wasted, but that’s symptomatic of the larger problems with X-Men First Class.
-He was an extra character. The movie is too full, and pretty much just Beast, Magneto, Mystique, and Xavier get a chance to shine. Banshee gets something like seven whole lines, doesn’t he?
-So, because the cast is so full, everyone’s motivations are… thin. Angel is okay with being ogled as a stripper, but hates how the humans look at her wings. That makes a kind of sense–she’s in control in one area and not in the other. But apparently she hates the latter so much that she signs up with a genocidal mutant after less than a month of even knowing that other mutants existed, deserting her mutant friends with not a second thought.
-Oh, and right before she does that, an off-screen human is like “Take the mutants, they’re hiding in here! Just don’t kill me!” just in case you don’t get that no one likes them. Racism! (Eyerolls!)
-Nobody beyond the main characters have much of a reason to do anything until Darwin bites it.
-“Hey, do this.” “Sure, okay.”
-“Boy, being a mutant sure is cool.” “Yep, sure is. :)”
-“Man, humans sure do hate us.” “Yeah, they do :(”
-But really, the worst part is that both black mutants die or turn evil in the same scene. What part of the game is that? You make a movie out of a series that borrowed heavily from the civil rights struggle and then cut out all the negroes?
-I’m not saying I want balance, one good and one evil. I think that’s dumb, to be perfectly honest. But at least let me believe that black mutants have actual reasons to do things or have powers that aren’t lame. “I can survive anything. Oh wait, no, I’m dying!” is crap!
-It’s doubly crap because of the pro-mutant slogan that pops up a few times in the movie. Say it loud: “Mutant… and proud.”
-The pregnant pause is part of the slogan.
-It’s like the moral of the movie is “Black, er, blue is beautiful!”
-I can totally buy evil black mutants. It makes sense, it’s feasible, blah blah blah. But I didn’t buy it here because the writing team barely even tried to sell it. They just threw it out there.
-Boring. They got to do better next time.
-The Nazis got what they deserve, though, so that’s okay.
-On the flipside… there’s a bit where a Nazi quarter (did they call them quarters? it’s worth 25 Nazi Cents I assume and has a swastika on it) turns into the X-Men First Class logo. That’s probably not the best message to be sending at the beginning of your big fat civil rights metaphor. I don’t know whether that’s because Nazis barely count as people or because it sets up a really terrible unintentional comparison.
-“Mutants?! More like Nazis, am I right, fellas?”
-Next time: tighter script, better colored mutants (I’d settle for a real gully version of Bishop or uh… actually Frenzy would be kinda dope, as long as they go real raw with her), and more Fassbender. Fewer sad white people, fewer characters with no motivation, fewer scenes with January Jones stinking up the spot.
-“Magneto was right.”
-Oh yeah, better music in the new one, too. This one was forgettable. X-Men’s got to be a sexy franchise, and the ’60s were a great time for music. Throw some period joints on that fire.
Less than a year ago, Alan Moore went on one of his usual tirades. The kind where he goes on about how he doesn’t read a thing by Marvel or DC, but knows they suck just because. You know the kind.
Yeah, like that.
While ranting about the comic business is part of Moore’s Thursday routine, this instance was different. By this point, the comic industry had taken enough of his bitterness. For one, fellow scary bearded writer Jason Aaron wrote up a big essay on how he once idolized the man, but is now completely over him. DC Comics, meanwhile, seemed to take it just as personally. While they have no problem making money off of Moore’s old classics in trade form, he’s otherwise dead to them. In the past couple months, it seems DC’s making it their business to wipe Moore’s presence from DC continuity.
Sure, he gave us that comic with the naked blue guy and the creepy dude who’d always go, “Hurm.” He gave us that cool Superman story where he was all, “MONGUUUUUUL!” But those stand by themselves. When you look at it, in terms of DC continuity, there are three major impacts Moore has made. Four if you count the Blackest Night hoopla, but that was really just a minor aside that Geoff Johns mutated into something else entirely. Five if you count John Constantine, but let’s face it. There’s no damage DC can do to him that the movie didn’t already.
I was initially very unimpressed with Flashpoint. Not the many different worlds; I liked that. The Azzarello Batman: Knight of Vengeance hit the Miller imagery harder than Miller has in the last twenty years, and that’s okay, because it makes for a fun few issues. I like sampling the various variations. The main story isn’t splashing over into the books I regularly read. For a big summer event, I liked it.
No, the thing that left me initially unimpressed was the idea that the entire DC universe gets rebooted at the end of it. Yes, when I hit the ground in comics, I hit the ground running. And yes, I have thirteen boxes full of comics to prove that. And yes, I just gave away an entire shortbox full of kids comics to my mom to cut it down to thirteen boxes. But – I haven’t been reading that long in the grand scheme of things. And in that time, the entire DCU has been rebooted at least twice. The idea of another reboot just left me feeling tired.
But, true to form, just when I thought I was out, comics pulled me back in. This re-boot is going to be a little re-bootier than usual. It seems that DC, conscious of new readers being too intimidated by the mountains of continuity to pick up a single title, is going back to issue one, and trying for an iconic version of DC.
This means one of two things. Either this one will stick a little more than usual, or it will be gone in a blink, leaving only even more confusing continuity in its wake.
I hope for the former. The last few decades of ultra-grim continuity have left me feeling a little poorly towards comics in general. A clean slate, free of tragedy and its attendant moping, might be nice. I feel like it would be good to step into a DC universe where not every single character has violently lost a child. (Batman, Superman, Green Arrow, Aquaman, Arsenal, Wonder Girl . . . I’m sure there are more, but I can’t take thinking about it.)
So here’s what I am scanning the headlines for:
1. What happens to the Batfamily in general?
Well, of course I am. I’m still me, aren’t I? And I like most of the Batfamily the way it is. I like Jason Todd (shut up) and Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown, and Damian (as a side character), so I’m hoping DC won’t lose them completely. And yes, I saw that Barbara is Batgirl and written by Gail Simone. I’ve gone on record with my opinions on Babs returning to Batgirl before – but I’ll do it again. It’s a terrible idea, a regression for the character, and eliminating one of the most original characters in the DCU. And I love it. It’s Babs, and Babs is my favorite character, and I love Batgirl too, and I don’t care about anything else.
2. What about the Blue Beetle?
It hadn’t occurred to me that anything would happen with either Blue Beetle – neither right now seems like a big enough character to be messed with. I’d love it if they were both back, but I’m the ‘more is more’ persuasion of fan. Which is why I have thirteen boxes of comics in my house.
3. Lian Harper must live!
It was a creepy story and depressingly generic turn for the Arsenal character to kill off his kid and have him turn ‘dark’. The overall story was so distasteful that it put me off reading comics in general for weeks. A big re-set for the universe would be a good way to erase that.
–A preview of the Static Shock Special, which I had previously discussed in March. I wasn’t really going to pick up the special until I saw the preview. I’m still a little grossed out, to be honest, but it’s clearly a good faith effort on the part of the creators involved. Comics will make you feel weird about things you like, man.
From Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips’s Criminal: The Last of the Innocent, two non-consecutive pages that I liked a lot:
I read and reviewed this book while sitting in a room I haven’t slept in for four years. I took a trip back home for a week, and it’s been sorta weird. The first thing that happened when I got back into town, like right after I got off the airport shuttle, was that the lady at the desk recognized my last name, asked if I was related to a couple people, and told me about my aunt holding back on a recipe. The rest of the trip has been a whirlwind of sideways nostalgia, where everything is too small or out of place or weird or different from how it was four years ago/when I was a kid. (though small is almost definitely a metaphorical thing, now that I’m looking around my room and mentally comparing it to my apartment)
This latest Criminal is about a man coming home after five years away and being completely seduced by nostalgia for the way things were. The gap between then and now shakes him up early on, but later, when he’s conversating with old friends and having a good time, he starts thinking about how great then feels and how broken and corrupt now is.
This sort of stuff is basic, I think, the sort of universal emotions we all experience at some point. I just happened to read the book at the best/worst possible time to do so. Brubaker and Phillips came through with the execution, and the basic nature of the story (“Life was better then,” whether “better” is true or not) gives it a little extra punch. Widest possible area of effect, right? Even famous people feel that. (“Ain’t kill myself yet, and I already want my life back.”)
This is a good first issue for what will hopefully be the best Criminal yet. It feels very resonant; it’s easy to relate to. Well worth a look.
-This was supposed to go up last week, but WordPress hiccuped or something and I didn’t notice until Friday night.
-No, seriously. I didn’t forget. Shut up. Here’s proof:
-“Missed Schedule?” How does an automated post miss the schedule?
-Anyway.
-Batcast!
-Talking about Grant Morrison and crew’s:
–Batman & Robin Vol. 1: Batman Reborn
–Batman & Robin, Vol. 2: Batman vs. Robin
–Batman & Robin Vol. 3: Batman Must Die!
-I don’t think I actually hate Warren Beatty, but Esther’s memory is way better than mine.
-“Talking about” more like “Talking around”
-You know how we do
–Here’s that Wingman essay
-6th Sense’s 4a.m. Instrumental for the theme music.
-Here comes a new challenger!
-See you, space cowboy!
Only months before ThWiP gets renumbered at #1 with Esther taking over, we’ve got a strong week here with a lot of event-based comics and their tie-ins. Joining me is the regular crew in David Brothers, Was Taters and Space Jawa.
Can you figure out why I picked up Amazing Spider-Man this week? It’s a tough one.
Amazing Spider-Man #663
Dan Slott, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Emma Rios, Todd Dezago and Todd Nauck
Avengers Academy #14.1
Christos Gage and Sean Chen
New York Times bestselling writer Brian Azzarello, author of The Joker and 100 Bullets, teams up with the immensely talented artist Cliff Chiang (Neil Young’s Greendale) for WONDER WOMAN #1, an exciting new series starring the DC Universe’s greatest superheroine. The cover to issue #1 is by Cliff Chiang.
I’m going to go on ahead and call this DC relaunch a success, because they’re getting me to buy a Wonder Woman comic for the first time in… years, probably, during a brief dalliance with the Greg Rucka run. It’s creator driven, obviously–Azzarello and Chiang a team that is too good for most any cape comics character–but here we are nonetheless. Also, I liked this bit from the last time Azzarello wrote Wonder Woman in Superman: For Tomorrow (two trades: one and two):
Couple other bits that seem interesting:
The world’s third-smartest man – and one of its most eligible bachelors – uses his brains and fists against science gone mad in MISTER TERRIFIC #1, the new series from writer Eric Wallace and artist Roger Robinson. The cover to issue #1 is by J.G. Jones.
I still think “third-smartest man” is a dumb gimmick (It’s on the level of “When a lady walks to me says ‘Hey, you know whats sexy?’ I say, ‘No, I don’t know what it is, but I bet I can add up all the change in your purse very fast!”), but I liked the Eric Wallace who wrote Ink and I like Mr. Terrific in theory and a few times over the past few years (Infinite Crisis talking with John Stewart, Checkmate, maybe a couple other spots). Titans, though, I’m not even remotely keen on. Fellas: wow me.
Rising superstar Francis Manapul, fresh off his acclaimed run on THE FLASH with Geoff Johns, makes his comics writing debut in THE FLASH #1, sharing both scripting and art duties with Brian Buccellato. The Flash knows he can’t be everywhere at once, but what happens when he faces an all-new villain who can? The cover to issue #1 is by Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato.
Manapul draws nice.
One bit I’m not interested in:
Welcome to a major new vision of the Nuclear Man as writers Ethan Van Sciver and Gail Simone team up with artist Yildiray Cinar to deliver THE FURY OF FIRESTORM #1. Jason Rusch and Ronnie Raymond are two high school students, worlds apart – and now they’re drawn into a conspiracy of super science that bonds them forever in a way they can’t explain or control. The cover to issue #1 is by Ed Benes.
Ethan Van Sciver? Thanks, but no thanks–I’m not the type of guy who can knowingly put money in the pocket of a Joseph McCarthy fanboy and known associate of Breitbart/BigHollywood types. Not a chance, son. Those people are human scum.
I’ll have fuller thoughts once the solicits hit in a couple weeks, I guess. I’m gonna be checking for that new Justice League by Johns & Lee, too. More details here.
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