I am officially a day behind. The fatigue finally hit me, mainly due to real life scheduling and sleep sounded a lot better to me than writing about the Goodfather. I’m going to try to have the rest of this up before leaving to watch Sunday’s show, but I’m sure I’ll probably tap out and finish the last installment the day after despite my best efforts. Boy, I suck.

And speaking of people who suck, as well as Thanksgiving, I want to direct your attention to Luther Reigns. He’s a hoss from the mid-00’s who is featured in today’s update. For that, I bring you this clip, which features one of my favorite quotes in all wrestling.

He’s had peas before. That… That’s good to know, Luther. Thank you for sharing that.

7) SURVIVOR SERIES 2000

Date: November 19, 2000
Era: Attitude Era
Location: Ice Palace in Tampa, Florida
Known as: That one where Austin literally murdered Triple H on live TV and he was relatively okay the next day
Elimination Matches: 2 out of 9

The WWF’s 2000-2001 season was pretty freaking amazing and many would say that it was the highpoint to the company’s history. Talent and good writing were all over the place. The mainstays had more stories to tell and the new guys were catching on like wildfire. Nearly every feud and storyline had a degree of quality to it. The 99 Series was partially dedicated to the use of Steve Austin as a road bump. The perpetrator turned out to be Rikishi in an ill-advised storyline move, but because nobody was able to care enough, they turned Triple H heel as the true mastermind. I realize this goes against what I wrote a few sentences ago with how everything was quality, but the product was so strong that lemons were still turned to lemonade because we’d still get good stories and matches out of it.

The Atmosphere

We have a lot of good stuff to keep us entertained between matches. The intro is about Triple H being the mastermind behind Austin’s downfall, cackling over his own genius. When Edge and Christian discuss how they don’t want to interfere with Angle’s match, Angle laughs them off, says, “You and your hijinx!” and tells them that he doesn’t need their help. Later on, Trish comes onto him and he totally misreads her signals and turns her down. The tag team Low Down is not allowed into the building for the sake of being buried, I guess.

We have segments that show Triple H meeting up with the Radicalz backstage, acting like they’re all up to something until Mick Foley walks in to make sure that they won’t be showing up at ringside for the match. Austin is shown getting to the show halfway in, which comes across as unprofessional as hell. Then you have the awesome stuff with Jericho. He cuts a really good promo on Kane before their match and sometime after the match, he goes after Kane backstage and beats the crap out of him. It’s totally rad.

The Matches

Our opener is Trish Stratus and T&A (Test and Albert) vs. Molly Holly, Crash Holly and Steve Blackman. Blackman uses his martial arts superpowers to outfight Albert and lets Crash do a top-rope crossbody. It’s caught by Albert, but Blackman does a Missile Dropkick into Crash to knock Albert over. Trish is tagged in and among the confusion accidentally kicks Albert in the nuts. Crash faces Test and does a lot of speed-based controlling offense until finally running right into a boot. Just to give you an idea of how over Molly is, when she does even the most basic set of moves to Trish, the crowd goes absolutely wild. Maybe it’s just a really good crowd, but considering what they’re being given, I can’t blame them.

Test grabs Molly’s hair while on the apron and it puts her in peril for the rest of the match, including a moment where Test and Albert help Trish manhandle her. The four men all duke it out on the outside while Trish gets Molly with a second-rope bulldog. Molly kicks out. Frustrated, Trish sets her up on the top rope, gets kicked and Molly gets a sudden victory with a Sunset Flip off the top. Test runs in after her, but Molly takes off. Quick but fun match.

Next is Team D-Generation X (“The One” Billy Gunn, Chyna, Road Dogg and K-Kwik) vs. the Radicalz (Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn). Starts off very good with Billy and Saturn showing good chemistry. Chyna is brought in and tries her Handspring Elbow attack. Saturn catches her and she kicks him in the balls. The ring fills up, Chyna tries a piledriver and Eddie hits her from behind with the Intercontinental Championship belt. Saturn gets the pin. Eddie works on Road Dogg. When Road Dogg starts working in his trademark punch combo, Eddie interrupts it by dropkicking him in the knee. Gunn is tagged and gets beat up in the Radicalz’s corner until he’s able to fight them all off, unleash a flurry of offense onto Eddie and finish him with the One and Only (sleeper into a slam). K-Kwik and Chris Benoit is a seriously quality pairing that ends fairly quickly when Benoit pins K-Kwik with a German suplex with a bridge. A minute or so later, Saturn is fighting Road Dogg and ducks a punch, then counters with a Northern Lights Suplex. Road Dogg is pinned and we’re down to Billy Gunn vs. Benoit, Malenko and Saturn.

Malenko whips Gunn into the ropes right as Saturn pulls down the top rope, causing him to spill to the outside. Benoit holds Gunn up and Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit. Gunn takes advantage of the confusion, gets back into the ring and eliminates Malenko with a Famouser. Benoit starts pouring it on and hits a diving headbutt off the top, but Gunn kicks out. Benoit is shoved into Saturn, giving just a little hope that Gunn can pull this off. He tries to suplex Benoit and Saturn pulls on his leg. With the ref not seeing, Saturn holds Gunn’s leg as Benoit makes the pin and the Radicalz come out on top. Completely solid match, but with a team like the Radicalz involved, that should come to no surprise.

Speaking of great workers, we have Kane vs. Chris Jericho back during the peak of Kane’s career. Early 00’s Kane is the best Kane in terms of in-ring work. Jericho starts by sticking and moving, punching at Kane until Kane finally catches him with a punch and takes him down. Jericho dropkicks Kane out of the ring and he lands on his feet. Jericho follows up with a Baseball Slide to stagger him, then a plancha. Jericho gets Kane so that the steps are right by his head and then dropkicks those steps. Back in the ring, Jericho tries a crossbody from the top and it’s caught and turned into a running powerslam. We get a lot of fantastic back and forth with Kane at one point holding Jericho off the ground, back-to-back by the jaw. Kane becomes completely dominant, punching him down repeatedly and throwing him around. He tears away at a corner pad, setting it up for later. A top-rope clothesline from Kane is intercepted with a dropkick. Kane gets back up, holds Jericho over his shoulder and tries to run him into the exposed turnbuckle. Jericho slides off, shoves Kane into the corner and tries a roll-up. Kane kicks out. The Walls of Jericho are put on, yet Kane grabs the ropes. Jericho does the Lionsault, with Kane catching him by the neck while laying down. He chokeslams Jericho and it’s over. Really fucking good.

The show starts to dip in quality from here. William Regal defends the European Championship against Hardcore Holly. Regal comes out first and makes fun of Florida for their role in the 2000 election. Holly enters and they have a strong opening where they complement each other’s style well. Regal begins to work over Holly’s injured arm, even kneeing it while waving to the crowd for heel heat. It starts to get a bit boring, which is pretty unacceptable for a five minute match. Eventually, Holly has had enough of Regal working on his arm, grabs the European title and hits Regal with it for a disqualification. He pounds on Regal and leaves, favoring his arm.

Then we have the Rock facing Rikishi. Not a bad match, albeit the ending annoys me. Rock sprints into the ring and goes all out with rapid punches. Dude even pulls off a backdrop! AGAINST RIKISHI! His downfall comes from grabbing a chair and having the ref prevent him from using it. This allows Rikishi to superkick him. Rikishi dominates for a while. Rock gets knocked into the ref, which Rikishi uses as an excuse to bring out a sledgehammer. As he stalks Rock with it, Rock turns around and punches him. He hits the Rock Bottom and the hurt ref slowly gets in there for the count. Rikishi kicks out. Rikishi starts to bring the offense again by out-brawling the Rock and sitting on his chest. Rock kicks out.

Rikishi crushes Rock in the corner with his gigantic ass and sets him up for the Stink Face. After performing the move, Rikishi steps away and eats one angry clothesline from Rock. Rikishi tries a superkick, misses and gets driven down with a spinebuster. Rock does the People’s Elbow and when done, he appears too hurt for the pin. He slowly drags himself over Rikishi’s body and… gets the pin? Really? It was the People’s fucking Elbow! How is that supposed to keep someone like Rikishi in an extended coma when he can kick out of the Rock Bottom? Rikishi even appears to think this is bullshit by attacking Rock after the match, beating up the refs and delivering four – count ’em, four – Banzai Drops.

Ivory defends the Women’s Championship against Lita. Lita has things in hand early on, but her face gets busted open. At first, the match can’t find its rhythm. They try to make it work, but the two can’t click. Luckily, it does improve. Lita shoves Ivory out of the ring and does a top-rope crossbody to the outside, taking out both Ivory and her manager Steven Richards. Lita starts taking control and climbs to the top for the moonsault. Richards pulls Ivory out of the way at the last second. Ivory brings in the title belt and swings it at Lita. She misses and gets laid out. Lita tries the moonsault yet again, but this time Ivory saves herself by holding the belt over her torso so that Lita lands on it. Ivory ends up retaining. I’m starting to notice they’re overdoing it with using the belt as a weapon for this show. There are other ways to cheat, you know.

Kurt Angle defends the WWF Championship against the Undertaker. We get an Angle speech beforehand, based on how the people of Florida should stop for a second and reflect on his amazing career, since it gives them someone to look up to. When the match is about to start, there’s a lot of stalling. Undertaker leaves the ring and throws Angle a chair as an offering to make things even. Angle ends up taking him up on the offer by nailing him in the back before the bell rings. Angle goes to town on Undertaker and punches the hell out of him repeatedly… yet he goes a little too far and gets tired from it. Undertaker stands back up and gives it back to Angle with a series of rapid-fire punches. Angle clotheslines Undertaker out of the ring and jumps over the ropes. Undertaker catches him and shoves him into the corner post twice. Back in the ring, Undertaker makes Angle tap with an armbar, but Edge comes out to distract the ref and Christian grabs the annoyed Undertaker by the head before dragging him down over the top rope.

Undertaker still stays in the fight and chokeslams Angle. He kicks out. After a lengthy rest hold, Undertaker goes out and attacks Edge and Christian. He chokeslams Angle again, but the ref is too busy yelling at Edge and Christian to leave. This pisses Undertaker off, as you could imagine. Angle begins to work over Undertaker’s leg, giving him the Figure Four and the variation of it where you use the corner post from the outside of the ring. Undertaker makes another comeback and finds that he can’t put Angle away. During the frustrating period, Angle gives a low blow. He sets Undertaker up for a Tombstone of his own and it gets flipped. Angle escapes the hold and gets out of the ring. He crawls under it to escape. Undertaker drags him back out by the leg, throws him in the ring and delivers the Last Ride. The referee refuses to make the count because it’s NOT Kurt Angle! It’s an imposter, who we’d later discover to be his brother Eric. Undertaker argues, but gets rolled up and Angle holds him down by the tights… er, biker pants. Angle celebrates by running to his car and peeling out. Classic Angle.

We get another elimination tag match in the form of Edge, Christian and the Right to Censor (Bull Buchanon and the Goodfather) vs. the Hardy Boyz (Jeff and Matt Hardy) and the Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley). It starts off as pretty basic. Nothing special as the RTC guys and the Dudleys fight each other in different combinations. Then it starts to wake itself up when the ring fills and the faces team up for a quadruple DDT. Matt works on Edge and climbs to the second rope, only to get hit by manager Val Venis from the outside. Edge takes advantage with the Edge-o-Matic and Matt is eliminated. D-Von goes up against Christian, stops the onslaught in order to hit Bull Buchanon on the apron and it costs him. Christian finishes off D-Von with the Unprettier. Christian takes Jeff and throws him into the corner in a way that Jeff falls over and his torso nails the post. Bull dominates until Jeff is able to tag out to Bubba. Bubba has a strong showing and takes out anyone who runs in his direction. Edge makes the mistake of Spearing Bull, allowing Bubba to pin him. He gives Edge the Bubba Bomb. Christian tries to make the save and instead splashes onto Edge from the top rope. Bubba removes Christian from the ring and pins Edge.

Less than a minute later, Christian gets his revenge but shoving Bubba into the Goodfather so that the Goodfather catches him, holds him over his shoulders and drops him with the Death Valley Driver. Bubba’s pinned, leaving only Jeff. A minute into his fight with Christian, Jeff knocks Goodfather off the apron, knocks down Christian, hits the Swanton and pins him. Goodfather desperately tries to finish off Jeff and misses the Ho Train. In an attempt to cheat their way to victory, Goodfather and Venis screw up and accidentally clothesline each other. Jeff pins Goodfather right after and wins the match. The RTC attack him after the bell, but the Dudley Boyz and Matt make the save, hit their respective finishers and put the RTC members through tables. I love a happy ending.

That only leaves our main event of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. Triple H in a No Disqualification Match. It starts with immediate brawling where Austin whips Triple H’s ass for a long, long time. When Triple H tries to get some momentum, it’s time for a Lou Thesz Press. They brawl up the ramp and Triple H is finally able to get some hits in. Then they fight over to the announce tables and Austin makes Triple H bleed with a monitor upside the head. Austin pulls out a cooler, opens it up to pull out a can of beer, sits down and drinks for a second, then uses the can on Triple H’s head. The brawling goes on and on and Austin’s attempt at a Stunner is turned into a neckbreaker. Austin tries getting Triple H with an elbow from the second rope while yelling, “FUCK YOU!” pretty loudly and misses. Triple H finally gets in control. He tries a Pedigree on the steps, but Austin backdrops him through a table. Austin throws him back into the ring. Triple H begs off and only gets stomped in return. When he gets up, he’s met with a Stunner. Austin could win this match right here, but it isn’t about wins or losses.

He pulls out a chair and places it around Triple H’s neck. He plans to jump off the ropes and land on the chair, but before he can even jump, Triple H rolls away. Austin chases him to the back where he starts smashing Triple H into a vending machine. The Radicalz appear and help out Triple H. Triple H makes a run for it and soon Austin is able to get past the Radicalz. Benoit goes outside and finds Triple H waiting in a car so he can run over Austin again. Benoit says that he’s lost track of Austin, but he’s probably on his way out. Triple H lies in wait until Austin appears with a forklift and lifts up Triple H’s car. Suspended high over the ground, Triple H begs for his life and apologizes for everything he’s done. Austin drops the car and with a shout of, “HOLY SHIT!” from Triple H, the car smashes into the ground. Naturally, it was a filmed stunt with Triple H removed before the drop because that would have turned him to mush. Austin responds to his successful revenge by strutting away and the show just ends.

I think my review of that last match would just be, “Really?”

Still, it’s a really good show that holds up. I’d say it’s good to watch it with Royal Rumble 2001 and Wrestlemania X7.

6) SURVIVOR SERIES 2004

Date: November 14, 2004
Era: Cena Era
Location: Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio
Known as: That one where they fought over who would control Raw for a month
Elimination Matches: 2 out of 7

With the Crossover Era dead, the company had to rebuild itself back up with the talent left at its disposal. With nearly every dream match no longer a dream thanks to the previous five years, the WWE had to push up the newer crowd like Cena, Batista and Orton. The three were on their way to true stardom and Orton had recently took part in a World Heavyweight Championship reign. The main story on Raw had to do with Eric Bischoff taking a vacation. For the month after Survivor Series, each Raw would have a guest GM and those four GMs would be the winning team from the main event. This puts pressure on Triple H, as everyone involved with the match has plans to force a title match against the Game. Everyone but Batista, that is. Triple H knows he can count on his loyalty… hopefully. Meanwhile, John Cena had been stabbed in the kidney by Jesus.

Nah. I’m not even going to add context to that.

The Atmosphere

The opening goes over the major moments in Survivor Series history, such as the Undertaker debut, Austin getting run over, Bret vs. Michaels and so on and then has the movie trailer announcer guy hype up the matches. All the backstage stuff on this show is just about perfect. Before anything else, I have to point out the most epic meeting of the minds in sports entertainment history.

They would have been bigger than the Mega-Powers.

So anyway, Edge and Angle argue over Edge’s autobiography and Angle gets bemused when Eugene recognizes him as the guy who sucks. Coach interviews Maven, which gets tense between the two, but then Snitsky barges in and maims Maven to the point that he’s a bloody mess. Bischoff tells Maria in an interview that there will be no replacement for Maven because it would lead to lots of red tape that would ruin his pending vacation. Triple H and Batista talk about screwing over their partners and when Triple H leaves the room, Batista holds the title belt in his hands and briefly ponders the possibilities. Other than the Heidenreich bit, my favorite segment is when Eddie Guerrero’s team celebrates their victory. Cena’s reaction here is possibly the funniest thing he’s ever done.

The setup for the show is extremely cool too. There’s comic art of all the wrestlers appearing on sliding screens and in hologram form. Outside of this and 98, I can’t recall any times where they’ve really tried to give the arena a unique feel.

The Matches

To start, Spike Dudley defends the Cruiserweight Championship against Billy Kidman, Chavo Guerrero and Rey Mysterio. There’s Tornado Rules, meaning that everyone’s in the ring and no tags or waiting on the outside. Mysterio faces off against Chavo and bests him, but Spike attacks him right after. Mysterio then ends up fighting against Kidman on top of a corner post, where Mysterio proceeds to send Kidman to the outside with a hurricanrana and falls out with him. Spike throws Chavo out of the ring and onto them. Then he jumps out and completely misses them. Lots of exciting stuff in here with a lot of neat spots, like Chavo superplexing Mysterio while sitting on Kidman’s shoulders. Kidman tries to do the Shooting Star Press on Mysterio, but he gets shoved off the ropes by Chavo. Spike figures he’ll take care of the hurt Mysterio with a Dudley Dog, but it’s reversed into the 619. Kidman stops the pin by pulling Mysterio out of the ring. Chavo gives Spike a Gory Bomb and Kidman then surprises Chavo with a legdrop plancha. Kidman and Mysterio fight each other and end up tumbling out of the ring, which allows Spike to take advantage of the situation and pin the beaten Chavo. Great way to start the show.

Next up is a fantastic match that makes me kind of sad. It’s Shelton Benjamin defending the Intercontinental Championship against Christian. I’d call this Shelton’s prime in just about every way. The guy is being pushed to the moon, he has charisma to make up for his lack of mic skills and he appears to care about what he is doing. Later he would lose a lot of that and become the Santa Claus of Wrestlemania, putting on his work boots once a year to make a show out of the Money in the Bank match. As for this match, Shelton repeatedly out-wrestles Christian and shows all sorts of impressive feats of athleticism, like a Shawn Michaels highlight reel. The moment Shelton takes his eyes off the prize and focuses on Christian’s bodyguard Tomko, Christian shoves him off the apron and into the barrier. The tables are turned.

Christian puts Shelton in a rest hold, throws him out of the ring, lets Tomko work him over and then tries to pin him. It doesn’t take. Christian performs a Spinning Inverted DDT and starts to talk down at Shelton, calling him a flash in the pan. Shelton endures more taunting until fighting back with a variation of Goldust’s Curtain Call. He misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and is slammed head-first into the mat with an Impaler DDT. He still kicks out. Tomko throws the belt in and distracts the ref. Christian picks up the belt, runs for Shelton and gets a boot to the face. The ref sees the belt and removes it from the ring. Shelton takes down Christian with a top-rope clothesline, but with the ref distracted, Tomko is able to sneak in a kick him in the head. Christian makes the cover and it’s another kick out. Shelton fights back with some punches, goes for the T-Bone Suplex and instead gets shoved into Tomko. Christian sets up the Unprettier, Shelton hops over him, delivers the T-Bone Suplex and wins the match.

Then we get our first elimination match, as Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak and Carlito) face Team Guerrero (Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam and Big Show). Gee, who is going to win this one? Cena immediately beats up Jesus… Boy, I really should add context to that, but what can you do? Carlito is chased by Cena into the parking lot, steals a car and drives off. Carlito is already out of the match before it even starts. Big Show pulls in Jindrak to start off and slaps him around as expected. Eddie is able to beat up all the heels until Angle blindsides him and holds him under his thumb. Eddie is tortured for the next few minutes and any time he appears to be moving towards a tag, Angle would tackle him. Jindrak is brought in and gives him a bearhug from behind. Eddie starts dancing his way out of it, gives him a hurricanrana and tags in RVD while Jindrak tags Angle.

RVD outclasses Angle and sets him up for the 5-Star Frog Splash. Jindrak takes the bullet by laying over Angle and having RVD land on his back. RVD throws Jindrak from the ring and gets rolled up by Angle, who is supposed to put his legs on the ropes, but it looks all sloppy. RVD is eliminated and the faces clear the ring, staring down Angle and Reigns on the outside. Jindrak sneaks in from behind, preparing to ambush the faces. Eddie is one step ahead of him by sneaking up behind him and rolling him up for a pin while grabbing the ropes. Another elimination. Big Show is dominant against Reigns and Angle until Reigns clips Big Show’s injured ankle. Even though Reigns gets his licks in, Big Show gets him with a sudden chokeslam and pins him. Now it’s Angle all alone.

Big Show tries a chokeslam and it’s reversed quite nicely into an Angle Lock. Big Show rolls forward and launches Angle out of the ring. Angle figures he’ll cut his losses and leave the match, but RVD walks out to confront him. Angle backs up into Big Show, gets thrown into the ring, is given an FU, receives an Eddie Guerrero Frog Splash and Big Show makes the pin. Fun match, even though the winner is never in question.

The Undertaker fights Heidenreich. Heidenreich comes out with a straightjacket, which makes his entrance pretty kickass by default, but Undertaker’s entrance comes with lightning effects on all the screens. The two have a staredown where Undertaker is completely still and Heidenreich is shifty and completely animated. Undertaker dominates at first until Heyman distracts the referee. Undertaker goes for Old School and gets punched in the crotch. Heidenreich continues to attack Undertaker’s batch with the ref not looking, then beats him up all around the outside. Undertaker gets back into it and drops a Guillotine Legdrop onto Heidenreich. As things continue, the flaws begin to show themselves. Heidenreich is good at emoting and showing character and selling, but the guy has no offense outside of punching. Lots and lots of punching. Sure, it’s some good brawling in there, but there are parts where he goes for a one-two punch combo on Undertaker’s head because he can’t think of anything else to do.

At least they do a good job playing how Heidenreich is too crazy and dangerous to be afraid of Undertaker. There was a spot at the previous Wrestlemania where Undertaker ducked down for a backdrop, Kane kicked him and Undertaker stood right up with a pissed glare that made Kane nervously try to backtrack his actions before being pummeled. Not so here. Heidenreich does the same spot, only he just doesn’t give a fuck and throws Undertaker out of the ring. Undertaker still fights strong, taking down Heidenreich with a top-rope clothesline, but not able to get the full pin. Undertaker tries a running clothesline and is met with a Blackhole Slam. Hey, that’s more like it, Heidenreich! Heidenreich punches Undertaker in the corner and Undertaker reverses it into a Last Ride. Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich gives Undertaker a sleeper and Undertaker gets out by turning it into a back suplex. The ref starts to make the double count, but Undertaker stands up, hits a clothesline, chokeslams Heidenreich and finishes him off with a Tombstone. Despite Heidenreich’s lack of variety, this is way better than it has any right being.

Trish Stratus defends the WWF Women’s Championship against Lita. This is a situation where the video package leading into it is literally longer than the match itself. Lita punches Trish down, showing that she’s outright furious at the champ. Trish escapes the ring and they have a brief brawl on the outside before Trish trips into a chair. Lita picks up a chair and delivers the WORST CHAIRSHOTS. She’s disqualified and keeps attacking Trish. Well, that was pretty worthless.

John Bradshaw Layfield defends the WWE Championship against Booker T. The stipulation is that if JBL loses the match, he’ll leave Smackdown. The crowd is pretty split on him with some chanting, “JBL!” and the others following it with, “SUCKS!” JBL uses his power and brawling skills, but Booker starts to get the best of him early. JBL leaves the ring to get a breather in, gets back in and gets clotheslined back out. Booker continues the onslaught on the outside and rolls JBL back in, just before Orlando Jordan attacks Booker on JBL’s behalf. JBL works over Booker, climbs to the top and Booker prevents whatever he has in mind with a superplex. Booker goes to the outside, beats on Orlando, ducks a Clothesline from Hell from JBL, delivers a Book-End and then sidekicks Orlando. He’s got his shit completely together with the crowd chanting his name as he throws Orlando into the barricade and JBL into the steps. Orlando is taken out for the moment with a Scissor Kick, JBL is thrown back into the ring and given a Missile Dropkick and JBL spoils it by grabbing the rope during the pin. Booker keeps it going by climbing up the ropes for the Harlem Hangover. Orlando tries to distract him, which causes just enough hesitation that JBL is able to roll out of the way.

When Booker tries a Scissor Kick on JBL, Orlando trips him. JBL gets shoved into the ref, meaning there’s nobody to stop Orlando from running in and pounding down on Booker. Josh Matthews runs out of nowhere and attacks Orlando, followed by JBL outright murdering him. Damn, I forgot Matthews was involved in this angle in any way. A Clothesline from Hell is ducked, Booker gets JBL with a sidekick, kicks Orlando off the apron, nails the Scissor Kick on JBL, a new referee runs out and before he can make the full count, he’s pulled from the ring by Orlando. Orlando comes into the ring with the title belt in hand, misses a swing to Booker’s head, gets smashed by the Book-End and JBL picks up the belt and gives it a swing of his own. This time, he doesn’t miss. JBL wins.

It’s a frustrating match to watch, yet in a good way, just because Booker still is able to endure and persevere here and there. Pretty fun match all around, although there are spots of pure dullness. But hey, it’s a JBL match. What do you expect?

Our main event is Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit and Maven vs. Triple H, Batista, Gene Snitsky and Edge. As mentioned earlier, the faces are at a disadvantage due to Maven being taken out by Snitsky backstage. Benoit squares off against Edge and makes a fool out of him with his pure wrestling skill. Edge angrily tags out to Snitsky and Benoit tags to Orton. Orton and Snitsky have a staredown and Orton ends up winning the ex—HAHA!

Sorry, I have to mention that there’s a guy with a sign on camera that says, “Haha Batista can’t get over,” which is there for a few minutes until you see a security guard walk over, snatch it away and threaten the guy. I don’t know what I find funnier: that Batista’s lack of heat was made fun of months before his most over period or that they would so blatantly tear away the dude’s sign like that on the hard camera.

Orton is the face in peril for a little while until tagging in Benoit, who goes on the warpath and delivers like a dozen German Suplexes. He does a diving headbutt off the top and gets both Edge and Triple H at the same time. He puts Triple H in the Sharpshooter and holds him there until Snitsky makes the save. Benoit keeps at it by putting Edge in the Crippler Crossface until Batista kicks him off. Triple H gives Benoit the Pedigree and pins him. The heel teammates start to argue with each other to the point that Snitsky and Batista are too busy staring each other down to notice that Jericho has Triple H in the Walls of Jericho. He doesn’t finish Triple H off, but tries by going for the Lionsault. Flair trips Jericho during it and gets ejected from the ring by the referee. With the ref not looking, Orton nails Batista with the title belt, Jericho follows by giving Batista an enziguri and Triple H’s team finally loses a member. Again with the title belt shot! Before leaving, Batista angrily clotheslines Jericho.

With Jericho ailing in the ring, Edge and Triple H beat down on Orton so he can’t make the tag. Then a bloody Maven appears, makes his way to the ring and makes the tag. He goes straight for Snitsky and busts him open. Though only in the match for a moment, he takes on every heel with success until Snitsky smashes him with a chair. He’s disqualified, so he uses the chair on Orton and Jericho before leaving. Triple H easily pins Maven. Edge keeps trying to pin Jericho again and again, but Y2J keeps kicking out. Triple H picks him up for a Pedigree, Jericho gets out of it, but gets Speared by Edge. He’s pinned and we’re down to a weak Randy Orton vs. Edge and Triple H.

The final moments have the two heels work over Orton, who can’t seem to amount any sort of comeback due to how weak he is. Then he gets lucky and dropkicks Edge into Triple H. His attempt at a roll-up fails and he gets a spinebuster from Triple H. Picking Orton up, Triple H becomes the accidental victim of an Edge Spear. Orton RKOs Edge and pins him. The place is starting to get pumped. Triple H delivers a low blow and sets up the Pedigree. Orton twists his way out of it and catches Triple H with an RKO. He gets the pin and his team gets the keys to Monday Night Raw. The match is really a textbook look at how to make an exciting elimination tag match. Orton’s team acts as underdogs and win out without making it too hokey like your usual Hogan/Cena match.

It’s an extremely solid PPV that definitely would have made the top three had it not been for the silly Lita segment.

Eh, fuck it. Have some more Heidenreich and Snitsky.

Homoeroticism aside, the funniest part to me is how Heidenreich likes Snitsky’s idea before even hearing it. That’s friendship.

I wonder if either of them have ever had peas.

Day One (23-22)
Day Two (21-20)
Day Three (19-18)
Day Four (17-16)
Day Five (15-14)
Day Six (13-12)
Day Seven (11-10)
Day Eight (9-8)
Day Nine (7-6)
Day Ten (5-4)
Day Eleven (3-1)

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Posted in comic books, Lists, reviews, Survivor Series Countdown by Gavok |