Last night I went to the local supermall, knowing that they were showing X3 every half hour or so. Considering I got there at 8, I was a bit surprised that the next available showing was at 11:40. Goddamn it.

So, fifteen hamburgers later it’s time to see the movie. This is, after the usual barrage of movie previews, like Superman Returns, Nacho Libre, Leonard Part 6, Three Fast Three Furious and that crappy-looking Omen remake that they tossed together so they could release something evil on 6/6/06. Sadly, no trailers for Snakes on a Plane.

The movie was really pasted together and shoved out the door as fast as possible so Fox could push it to be the big Memorial Day weekend movie. It shows, considering the big clusterfuck we get. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun clusterfuck, but it’s a clusterfuck nonetheless. I just love using that word… “it’s”. Read the rest of this entry �

Let’s run some dates down, all right?
Superman: 1938
Batman: 1939
Wonder Woman: 1941
Flash: 1940 (or 1956)
Captain America: 1941
Spider-Man: 1962
Fantastic Four: 1961
Punisher: 1974
Blade: 1973
X-Men: 1963

Notice a pattern, here?

Most of your famous comics are what, at least thirty years old now? Here are some sales figures for March 2006. How many books in the top 100 are not spin-offs, revamps, or the continuing saga of an ancient property? We have The Sentry #7 coming in at #64, Cyberforce #1 at #83, Spawn #154 at #86, and Y the Last Man #43 at #93

Wait. Runaways. Issue #14 charted at #98.

Let me tell you a little bit about Runaways.
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Reader Review by Nez, send in yours to 4thletter@gmail.com!

“A hip, Warhol-ish journey through a cynical man/superman world as told by a jaded mafia princess, caught in the conflict between yuppie gas guzzlers, and hot lead”
That’s probably a fair example of what all the ‘big boy’ reviews are saying about SUPERMARKET (IDW), the latest showing from veteran comic-noir writer Brian Wood, and indie artist Kristian Donaldson. After reading issues #1 and #2, I’d almost be inclined to agree… almost. Don’t get me wrong, I’d recommend it to anyone, as it’s a terrific read. I just have a completely different take on it. Or do I?  
All vague banter aside, I committed to reading issue #1 after it was literally thrown at me. In a nutshell, SUPERMARKET is about one Pella Suzuki, (half Swede, half Japanese, go figure) a well–off (albeit extremely liberal) teenager who moonlights at a 24-7 convenience store as A) “It’s interesting”, and B) “Making her own money gives her a moral high ground over her parents”. Quickie-mart job aside, the hippie-teenage-rebellion crap is put on ice when “IT” happens. “IT” as it turns out is the brutal murder of both her parents. The situation worsens when after being directed to a secret family safehouse, Pella finds it being ransacked by Yakuza goons. To top things off, her credit cards have been shut down, leading her to believe that her parents were somehow involved in bad things. 
So far, SUPERMARKET (also a street term for the sprawl) has entertained me to say the least. Donaldson’s art is tight, yet grimy enough to get the job done. I would almost acquiesce to “hip” or “Warhol-ish”, if they didn’t sound so gosh darn retarded. Wood’s story moves at a pace that keeps you interested, without rushing things, and the unfolding details of this not-so-classic whodunit keep you wanting more. Between Yakuza chases to the revelation that her mother belonged to a Mafioso comprised of Swedish Adult Film Stars, SUPERMARKET delivers. So yeah, hip, mod, Warhol-ish, whatever, I guess I more or less agree with the ‘big boys’… Just don’t ask me to admit it. 

It’s time to wrap things up, kids. In this episode, I’ll wrap up this little ongoing series of articles. Really, by this point, it ought to be a case of ’nuff sed.

4l and A.o.D. are back with the more ROM. Herein you’ll find Rom’s story.

Ha Ha I Am Blogging About Bad Comic Books

Let’s talk for a moment, you and me, about things I hate.

I hate Venom, for example. I’ve never been able to stand that schmuck, ever since the Spider-Man books turned into the Venom Show back in the ’90s. I hate Howard Mackie for being the embryonic stage of Chuck Austen… and I hate Chuck Austen, because all right-thinking people do. I hate Scott Lobdell, Frank Quitely’s pudgy Play-Doh people, and any book that Ashley Wood drew…

…but most of all, I hate licensed comics that’re written by somebody who hasn’t even touched the source material. I really hate it when I’m familiar–or in this case, scarily familiar–with that source material.

That means I hate the Resident Evil comic books.

Call the neighbors and lock up the kids, folks. It’s time for a bunch of pointless fanboy bitching.

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Superman #163: What Do You Get the JLA for Christmas?

This very special issue of Superman comes from 2001, after Lex Luthor was elected President. In it, Superman goes around meeting with various JLA members to complain about the Luthor situation before giving them a crappy Christmas gift. Then he goes and fucks Lois in the city of Kandor while ripping off Plastic Man’s jokes.

The list of presents are as follows:

For Plastic Man: rubber bands
For Martian Manhunter: a box of Ore— er Chocos Cookies
For Aquaman: a Metropolis snow globe
For Green Lantern (the one without pubes): jewelry polish
For Flash: tube socks
For Wonder Woman: a tiny replica of Mjolnir, no doubt to remind her of the most unimportant subplot in Marvel vs. DC
For Batman: a magnifying glass
For Booster Gold and The Question: supporting character roles on the greatest cartoon on TV

A gimmick of the issue was that each segment was drawn by a different artist. That included the absolute horror of Rob Liefeld drawing Aquaman. Read the rest of this entry �

I love Marvel. I have ever since the beginning. I still own the first two comics I ever read. Amazing Spider-Man numbers 316 and 317, the second story involving Venom, I believe. It was a David Michelinie/Todd McFarlane joint. FOOM, Merry Marvel Marching Society, Marvel Zombie, you name it, I was it in an unofficial way because I was little and had no money. This stands to this day. Most of the DC books I read are published by Wildstorm.

There’s a lot of things I like about Marvel (Spider-Man). High on that list (after Spider-Man) is their trade policy. Is there a miniseries coming up soon that you want to check out, but you’d rather read it all in one chunk for better enjoyment? Grab the trade that’s gonna hit somewhere between one month and three months after the last issue ships. This is somewhere between two and two billion times better than DC’s trade program, which is “You’ll get the trade when we remember to actually print it.” Identity Crisis, for example, had a year-long wait and was released twice in floppy form before we finally got a trade. Common sense would tell you to strike while the iron is relatively hot and push that trade out there. Marvel does what DC don’t (that pun works a lot better with Sega and Nintendo, I think), though, so it’s all good.
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