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“That’s not how we rock in Theodore.”

May 22nd, 2007 by | Tags:

No disrespect, but you a psycho, honey
Got that S.S.I. money and you start actin’ funny
Shrimps every night, ordering steaks
Them jumbo joints, them shits cost a buck fifty for eight
And when you told me your Merlot, need more grapes
I said “Honey, you never had wine before!”
And if you did, that’s not how you act at all
And no… that’s not how we rock in Theodore

–Ghostface Killah, “Tooken Back”

Sana Takeda (1, 2)’s cover to Heroes for Hire 13:
hfh13.jpg

Jock (1, 2)’s cover to Green Arrow Year One:
gay1_cv3.jpg

Khari Evans (1, 2)’s cover to Shanna #1:
shanna.jpg

Last time it was Alex Ross’s boring Steel-on-a-black-background cover. This time it’s Sana Takeda’s ugly and creepy Heroes for Hire cover.

In exchange, I give you Jock and Khari Evans.

How do you go from a Michael Golden cover to something ugly and tentacle-rapey (also Misty is apparently not black) in a matter of months? Look at this:
hfhire010.jpg

I like cheescake comics. Bomb Queen, Cavewoman, those are funny books. But, Marvel, seriously– cheesecake is supposed to be attractive. Mewling little animu girls chained up around some slimy tentacles isn’t it. You’ve got the best artists in the biz and this is the best you come with?

Put Khari Evans on Heroes for Hire so that it will have good art again, please. I am for real here, I kind of like Shanna the She-Devil or whoever, but Khari is made for an ongoing book. He’s got a great style. Make him a Young Gun or whatever, push him hard.

About that Takeda cover… Marvel, that’s not how we rock in Theodore.

Get it together.

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5 comments to ““That’s not how we rock in Theodore.””

  1. Yeah, I actually just got done looking at that particular solicit. Talk about hitting all of the wrong notes.


  2. Wow. That’s… terrible.


  3. Yeah, the Takeda cover is pretty much awful and I have no idea why Marvel thought it was a good idea to greenlight that.

    Also not a huge fan of Khari Evans though, and not because of the cheesecake factor. I honestly couldn’t point out why exactly but there’s something weird about the way his art is textured, like everything’s made out of silly putty or something. It looks just “off” enough to bug me.


  4. Maybe it’s the coloring? Christina Strain (Runaways, Spidey Loves MJ) isn’t always to everyone’s taste, though she’s tops on those two books.

    How does the sketch strike you compared to the finished art?


  5. I don’t know, that might be it. I do like Strain’s colors on the two books you mentioned, but it fit Alphona’s art a whole lot better than it does Ryan’s right now. And it does look better in sketch form. I don’t know, maybe his art just doesn’t agree with inking or something.