I don’t know if I’ve ever shared this here before, but it’s a tale from the halcyon days of yore–

No, wait, let me start over.

I don’t know if I’ve ever shared this story before. I might’ve told Gavin or Thomas, I think, but not the entire internet as a whole. Read on as I tell you the Origin of Hal Jordan. If you’ve read it before, pardon me.

When I was a kid, I liked comics. Marvel Comics, mostly, because Spider-Man was and is the bomb. DC Comics were wiggedy-wack, in the parlance of the day (Kris-Kross will make you…). I liked them in theory, but they were straight up Dad Comics. Stuffy old guys doing stuffy old guy things.

My real entry to the DCU was either Batman: Knightfall or the Death and Return of Superman. I’m not 100% sure which it was because it was a while back. Thing was, comics cost money and I was maybe ten years old at most. Ten year olds do not really have any way to make money and I had no access to the monstrous stash of coke that I’ve been peddling to make paper nowadays.

So, like a lot of other little kids, I traded comics with friends. X-Force #1 for that issue of Spidey were Juggernaut almost gets his eye poked out. An extra copy of X-Men #3 for the latest Venom appearance. And so on. I bought the comics that featured cool characters that I could afford.

I think I first saw news of Superman’s death on CNN. I don’t think I could’ve afforded all the crazy variant comics, so I grabbed the novelization later on. I loved it. Roger Stern did a bang-up job and it remains one of my most loved novels to this day. I bought the recent reissue and everything.

Later, I managed to acquire most of the single issues, or maybe it was a TPB. In fact, it was probably a TPB. I still have a well-worn first printing of the World Without A Superman, so let’s say TPB so I don’t have to stretch my memory.

I read Death of Superman. It was good. I read World Without A Superman. It was good. I read Reign of the Superman. It was goo– wait. Something’s not right. The Central City portion of the story has some new jack in the proceedings.

Who the heck is this nerd in the green tights with the magic ring? What is he doing in a story about Superman dying and coming back? I want to read about Superman in that awesome robot, not some jerk with fancy jewelry.

Oh, oh hold on. Is this that annoying guy from the Super Friends cartoons? The one who got less face time than Aquaman? Why would they put this guy in such an awesome story? This was so much better in the novel!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my introduction to Hal Jordan. I finished the series and promptly put him out of my mind until I picked up Morrison’s JLA close to a decade later.

This is probably why I don’t “get” him to this day. He’s just another generic Superman-styled hero in my mind. Gavok has a pretty awesome explanation on how he’s the second generation of the Superman archetype, but Hal himself? I don’t like him near as much as I like Kyle or John. I read the new GL series briefly, but I soon lost interest I think around the time when Mongul (Mongul II?) showed up?

There you go.

Kaare Andrews on Spider-Man: Reign

I’m a pretty big Spidey fan. When I get married, it’s going to be in the black and white Spidey costume. It’s kind of like a tux, right? My wife, for what it’s worth, will be dressed as Harley (“Miiiistah J!”) Quinn.

Anyway.

I like Spidey. I like Kaare Andrews. I like dystopian futures. So, therefore, I will probably like Spider-Man: Reign. The stuff Andrews has said about Spidey ring true with me, and the idea of an old, bitter JJJ finally realizing that “Spider-Man: Threat or Menace?” is not necessarily a bad thing is a great idea.

I’m sorry. So sorry. I’m sorry for all of it, my boy. We have so much to talk about.

I love it. Humbled JJJ, a directionless Spidey, I’m digging it. The cover, with Spidey grasping MJ’s gravestone? Bloody haunting. I hope they don’t do anything to hurt MJ, but if they do, I hope that it is well-written. :doom:

Four issues, 48 pages… this actually sounds kind of similar to Paul Pope’s stellar Batman: Year 100, which I also loved. Giving Spidey the Dark Knight treatment would’ve been an awful idea ten years ago, but I think it’ll work well now, in no small part because of the creator.

Looking good. I absolutely love that splash of the limp Spidey coming down to save JJJ.

(if you guys are nice, i’ll tell you about the time i plotted out a pretty awesome Spider-Man: The End. i also once figured out that spidey is somewhere between 27-29 years old, with annotations from the text, in a feverish hour or so of fanfiction and conjecture)

I’m still waiting on a couple artists for the What If finale, so I figured I’d start this. The idea originally came from a thread at Superdickery back when I hung around there, and I later reprised it at BSS. Sure, we all know about Action Comics #1 and Amazing Fantasy #15, but there are so many great comic characters and a lot of them have changed since their debuts in ways that would surprise you. So let’s take a look at the heroes and villains before they were stars. Back when Lobo wore spandex and Wolverine had whiskers.

I figure I’ll do one of these every two weeks or so. It’s fun and educational!

Read the rest of this entry �

As I said in the last article, most What Ifs are interesting in their own way. Whether it’s because they tell a really good story, an abomination of a story or if the changes in reality are completely off the wall, almost every issue has something worth talking about.

I just talked about 100 of these stories and a couple extra ones I thought were crappy. So rather than have me write a bunch of exhaustive issue profiles, how’s about we just look at the bits and pieces that got my attention? It’s time to hand out the What If Honorable Mention Awards!

If I wasn’t so lazy, I would probably Photoshop a bunch of golden Uatu statues.

Edit: It looks like I didn’t have to. Thanks to Kyle Hayes for the award trophy.

Strangest What If Couple: Quicksilver and Gwen Stacy

This comes from What If the Age of Apocalypse Hadn’t Ended (volume 2, #81). Tony Stark, head of the human resistance, joins up with Magneto to figure out a way to save Earth from the coming of Galactus. Among Tony’s fellow human freedom fighters are the Hulk, Sue Storm and, strangely enough, Donald Blake’s bodyguard Gwen Stacy. Er… yeah. I guess with her dad being a cop and all… No, it still sounds goofy.

Pietro is without a sister and Gwen needs a boyfriend who can kill her with whiplash. It’s only natural that these two would find each other.

Read the rest of this entry �

SPIDER-MAN AND POWER PACK #4 (of 4)
Written by MARC SUMERAK
Pencils and Cover by GURIHIRU
It’s siblings vs. symbiotes as Spider-Man and Power Pack find themselves up against a new enemy they never expected — one of their own teammates! Has sweet little Katie Power finally gone to the dark side…and if so, will she ever want to come back?! Find out in the spine-tingling conclusion to this team-up tale!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

Is it just me or is this the single most adorable comics cover to ever come out of Marvel? Gurihiru did a bang-up job on it. Katie Power as Venom (though she may be afraid of spiders) is a pretty funny idea. I look at this comic and think, “Now this is a comic I want to read!”

I’ve got some catching up to do for 4l. Got some new headers to upload, most of them courtesy of the big G-A-V-O-K, a couple posts to make, and hopefully pull off something special for our one-year anniversary for the relaunch.

Busy bee.

Well, it’s been four months of lead-up. When the first part of the countdown came out, Lynxara asked about why I’d do a top 100 list for a series of books that only have 175 issues. Especially when I count two-parters as one entry. Truth be told, this isn’t like ranking the best issues of Nightwing or Mighty Thor. Most comic series have cohesion and you usually have an idea of what to expect in each issue. Writers, artists and story remain the same for months and sometimes years at a time.

What If, on the other hand, is different. What If is the ultimate comic book box of chocolates. Writers, artists, stories, ideas and tones change from issue to issue. Many stories are good. Many are bad. But almost every one of them is interesting in its own way. I could have easily have done a top 20 or top 50 list and be done long ago, but there’s too much fun we’d be missing out on. No jive-talking Incredible Hulk, or Matt Murdock crying over Wilson Fisk’s death bed, or Kraven the Hunter eating Peter Parker’s face.

Now let’s get in our Quinjet and take us down to #1.

Read the rest of this entry �

Jesus, we’re actually at the top ten. And some of you haven’t even lost interest yet. I’m proud.

What If: Avengers Disassembled came out the other day. You might be wondering if I would have placed it on this list if it came out several months back. The answer is no. No, I can’t really get behind an issue that tries to retcon a major story into something that makes even less sense. Having written this paragraph, I realize the John Byrne jokes write themselves.

Before I start this, one more call for anyone interested in drawing fake covers for the countdown finale. Come on, you know you want to.

10) WHAT IF THE FANTASTIC FOUR’S SECOND CHILD HAD LIVED?

Issue: Volume 2, #30
Writer: Jim Valentino, Ron Marz
Artist: Dale Eaglesham, Rurik Tyler
Spider-Man death: No
Background: In-between having Franklin and Valeria, there was another time Sue was pregnant with Reed’s kid. Unfortunately, there were radiation-related complications due to the team’s recent venture into the Negative Zone. Reed went to Doctor Otto Octavius – supervillain Doc Ock and the biggest expert on radiation – for help. Ock went berserk for a bit and the two had it out on the rooftops of New York City. Reed calmed Ock down and he agreed to help out. Unfortunately, they were half an hour late. Sue had a miscarriage. So let’s say Ock didn’t freak out and made it just in time? We have two stories here on two different sides of the spectrum.

The first story is best described as a horror story. Franklin wakes up from a horrible vision of the future where his father is dead. His parents just think he had a simple nightmare and leave it at that, but Franklin already knows that there’s a monster living inside his mother. Over time, Sue’s pregnancy takes a horrible toll on her. She gets weaker by the day and almost skeletal, soon losing her invisibility powers. When she gives birth to her child, she dies in the process. Reed names the baby Sue in order to deal with the loss of his wife.

As experience has taught us throughout this countdown, this isn’t going to end well at all.

Read the rest of this entry �

I realized last night that I’ve been reading comics for nearly twenty years, ever since around 1988/1989. Crazy stuff, man.

Anyway, this character is near and dear to my heart. Domino, Beatriz, Patch Eye, whatever you want to call her. She was a member of Cable’s crack Six Pack mercenary team, she’s crazy good with guns, and her mutant luck power is way better than that jerk Longshot’s. Things just happen to fall into place for her.

The power is kind of hilarious in retrospect, because I remember when it was revealed that the Domino we all came to know and love in X-Force was not the real Dom. She was Copycat, a blue-skinned shapeshifter the whole time! Mind = blown. The real Dom came back pissed and probably should’ve rightly killed Copycat. She eventually lightened up (lie) and joined X-Force.

I also love her design. She’d probably be hideous in real life, but the white skin and black eye-patch just look good on the comics page. It’s a striking bit of visual design. It makes her distinct enough that she doesn’t have to worry about wearing some standard costume to be recognizable.

You know what else is funny? Rob Liefeld created and co-created some great characters when he was at Marvel. I am secure enough in my comics nerddom that I can admit that. Sure, his Image/Extreme/Awesome characters were Bloodskin, Bagobones, Violencebloodstrikedeath and whatever, but Cable, Domino, Deadpool, G.W. Bridge, Kane/Weapon X, and Stryfe? All cool characters.

“Cable?!” you shout. “Stryfe?!” you scream. I like both of them. The mutant twin cloning bit is kind of stupid on an epic level, but the X-Cutioner’s Song turned out to be quite a ride. Stryfe finally just breaking down and wanting love from his biological (sort of) parents, Cable sacrificing himself to save those same parents, that’s good stuff.

People like to say “There are no bad characters, only bad writers.” I wholeheartedly agree. I liked X-Force as a kid. Looking back, a lot of it was dreck, yeah. But, look at these characters now. Fabian Nicieza is helping keep the spark lit for a lot of them, but people like them despite their early ’90s Liefeldian origins.

A good writer can make a “bad” character great.

I just want another Domino series, even if I have to write it myself. She’s too great of a character to relegate to guest-star status.

It’s a good time for a new What If article. Not only does What If: Avengers Disassembled come out this Wednesday, but Halloween’s right around the corner. What If and Halloween go together hand-in-hand. On Halloween, children dress up as their favorite superheroes. In What If, Frank Castle dresses up as Captain America. On Halloween, the theme is horror and gore. In What If, characters die by the dozen if you ask them politely. Halloween is represented by a bald kid with a big head, whining about how all he got from trick-or-treating was a rock. What If is represented by a bald guy with a big head, telling us about times when Ben Grimm didn’t get covered in rocks.

Okay, this is going too far. Let’s get to the article.

15) WHAT IF NOVA HAD BEEN FOUR OTHER PEOPLE?

Issue: Volume 1, #15
Writer: Marv Wolfman
Artist: Simonson Wiacek, Infantino Springer, Andru Giacoi and Perez Palmer
Spider-Man death: Yes
Background: The Green Lant—I mean, Nova got his powers when the previous Nova Rhomann Dey was mortally wounded while around Earth’s atmosphere. He transferred his powers and spot in the Nova Corps to a human at random. That human turned out to be Richard Rider, who continues to fight as Nova to this very day as the main hero of Annihilation. So if he was randomly picked, that opens up a lot of possibilities.

The first story begins with a mugger killing a man and running off in a panic. The victim’s wife, Helen Taylor, screams a vow that she’s going to find this guy and kill him. Months pass and Helen stands at her husband’s grave, sad that the police are no use and there’s nothing she can really do to help him. Only a miracle can set things right.

Read the rest of this entry �

It’s been a minute! Let’s chat.

-Did I tell you guys I’ve got One Volume Bone? I’ve got the first four colorized volumes, and I may continue to buy them, but I’ve got the big phone book now. I’m waiting before I start to read it, though I’m not entirely sure why. Anticipation?

I also scored Doom Patrol v4: Musclebound. Volume 5 is being solicited in January, and I’m hoping that Flex Mentallo trade is right around the corner!

–Gavok still wants artists! Show us your funny bone and art skills!

-Stephanie Brown died in War Games, the Crossover That Blew. Her treatment was pretty shameful, and some would like to see a Robin memorial case dedicated to her. I’ve thought hard about this issue (no lie, i think about things sometimes!) and I just can’t agree. My argument, boiled down to its basics, is that “Steph wasn’t ever really Robin and she doesn’t need a Robin case.” That’s selling myself short, however.

Johanna Draper Carlson made a post on this subject a couple days ago and I ended up responding. I make an appearance in the comments thread and try to articulate why I feel that way. I really do have (what I think is) a well-thought out and reasoned point, so give it a look. I wonder if I could expand it into a better-edited post for here…

-Anyone else playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance on 360? If you’re not a jerk, add hermanos to your friends list and we can get our game on. The cast list is spectacular, Sue Storm is ridiculously good, and Deadpool is hilarious. Solid game all around and I wish I could’ve reviewed it in the magazine.

-Speaking of the mag! HGM17 is out and about and ready for downloadin’. Our site is at Hardcore Gamer and here is the direct link to our magazine download page. Want to pay money for a print copy? Check out our subscribe page!

Go forth, my children, and make me rich read my magazine. We’ve got a dope Grand Theft Auto: Vice City cover story (complete with foil cover, no lie), a gaggle of galloping previews, some great reviews of video games due out soon, and a couple of sweet features. I think the Lost in VR feature ran this month, which dealt with VR in games. Check it out!

-More content later! I’ve got a Wildstorm post half done for you and those guest articles I promised before my business life exploded. Stay tuned, true believers!